July 2006 Archives

I had some really fucked up dreams last night, although the best one didn't happen until after I woke up and went back to sleep this morning.

The first dream had to do with robots fighting. I don't remember much about it. I think I was winning.

The second dream involved me hanging out with some cute guy, and I was wearing my collar - the black one with the pretty red gem in the front metal clasp. He kept trying to ask me questions about some paintings that I was making (weird emo looking crap), but my voice was gone, so we gave up and just started talking to each other on AIM, even though we were sitting right next to each other. Heh. Analyze that.

As I sat here hanging up all of my clothes that I fedexed before I left Atlanta, I had to ask myself - how many little black skirts does a girl need? Time to make a trip to the clothing donation dropbox.

I wore my thin jeans last night. I'm very happy. 2 weeks of cardio and no sugar did me some good. I need to find someone in Austin that knows how to properly lace a corset, because it's too loose now.

I went out last night, met some cool people, had a good time. I'm a bit more cheerful now. I did get a bit too drunk. It didn't hit me until I was walking up the steps to James after everyone left. I really didn't think my alcohol tolerance could get any worse; I was wrong. I remember giggling a lot and looking for my iPod. Poor James.

OpenDarwin is shutting down. I feel kind of sad that I never got a chance to play with it. <3 DarwinPorts

I was getting all excited, thinking about picking up my passport soon so I could prepare for a trip to Italy for EuroBSDCon later this year. I started poking through the site when I found a page about spouses.

Conference for non-technical people

What to do if you want to bring your wife/girlfriend ?

Dear EuroBSDCon,

Fuck you.

Love,

FreeBSDGirl

I don't get into these conversations with normal people.

Paul: dude
Paul: i'll make you a deal right now.
Paul: if we are roomates
Paul: and you find me a midget.
Paul: i'll fuck it

Being roommates with Paul would be a bad, bad thing. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I'll be posting a page shortly that documents all progress made for FreeBSD on the MacBook Pro.

This blog is like Days of Our Lives meets TechTV. Fuckin' A.

I was blindsided today.

Some friends back in Atlanta figured out which James I'm staying with here in Austin. Yes, I realize the stupidity. Yes, it is the James, otherwise known as Eddy. Yes, we had an interesting history together. Operative word: had.

After a week of being here, I feel like I'm still recovering. I still have nightmares. Every day I dread the moment James gets home from work because I'm afraid that I'm going to get yelled at for something. I'm still afraid to argue - or even express an opinion - about anything. If I even think that he's mad at me, I have to suppress the urge to cower in the corner and cry. I didn't realize how much I had changed in the past year until I saw how I was reacting around him. What he's doing for me is incredible (although he certainly uses every opportunity to remind me of it), but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. When I look at him, I don't see James. I see someone that could easily destroy what little bit of stability I've got. When he comes near me, I flinch. What happened to me? I think I used to be so much stronger than this. I used to feel like I was in control. When did I turn into just another weepy female? When did I stop trusting people? When did I become scared of men?

Bets are being placed as to how long it takes me to come back to Atlanta. Alright, I want a piece of this action. Put me down for a bill on never.

XviD codec, extension for Quicktime
DivX codec, extension for Quicktime

Fire, a multi-protocol IM client

Quicksilver, an application launcher

Desktop Manager - try it with SmackBook Pro if you're using a MacBook Pro

Growl, a notification system

TextMate, the best code editor ever. It's not free, but it's well worth the price.

iTerm, a terminal with tabs.

VLC, for those times when QuickTime just won't cut it. Duffy created a browser plugin for it - VLCPlugin-IntelOSX-Release.dmg.

Port Authority, a GUI frontend to DarwinPorts

Parallels Desktop, a virtual machine which allows users to run Windows and other OSes in virtual containers directly on Mac OS X desktop. Neither Virtual PC nor VMware work with OS X/Intel.

This isn't so much of a guide as a status page as to what's working and what isn't. Post your experiences here.

Versions able to boot: 7.0-CURRENT

SMP: broken.

AP #1 (PHY# 1) failed!
panic y/n? [y]

To get rid of this problem, disable APIC/SMP in your kernel. There have been some reports of getting this working by pushing the power button at the exact right moment in the boot process. This somehow forces the MacBook to initialize the second processor properly so FreeBSD can see it during the intial probe. I had limited success with this. If you somehow get lucky and have it see the second CPU, you're still going to see some funky messages that make me think things still aren't quite working right.

cpu0: <ACPI CPU> on acpi0
acpi_throttle0: <ACPI CPU Throttling> on cpu0
acpi_throttle0: P_CNT from P_BLK 0x410
cpu1: <ACPI CPU> on acpi0
acpi_throttle1: <ACPI CPU Throttling> on cpu1
acpi_throttle1: failed to attach P_CNT
device_attach: acpi_throttle1 attach returned 6

Here's some shiny cpuid output.

eax in eax ebx ecx edx
00000000 0000000a 756e6547 6c65746e 49656e69
00000001 000006e8 01020800 0000c1a9 bfe9fbff
00000002 02b3b001 000000f0 00000000 2c04307d
00000003 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
00000004 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
00000005 00000040 00000040 00000003 00022220
00000006 00000001 00000002 00000001 00000000
00000007 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
00000008 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
00000009 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
0000000a 07280201 00000000 00000000 00000000
80000000 80000008 00000000 00000000 00000000
80000001 00000000 00000000 00000000 00100000
80000002 756e6547 20656e69 65746e49 2952286c
80000003 55504320 20202020 20202020 54202020
80000004 30303532 20402020 30302e32 007a4847
80000005 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
80000006 00000000 00000000 08006040 00000000
80000007 00000000 00000000 00000000 00000000
80000008 00002020 00000000 00000000 00000000

Vendor ID: "GenuineIntel"; CPUID level 10

Intel-specific functions:
Version 000006e8:
Type 0 - Original OEM
Family 6 - Pentium Pro
Model 14 -
Stepping 8
Reserved 0

Extended brand string: "Genuine Intel(R) CPU T2500 @ 2.00GHz"
CLFLUSH instruction cache line size: 8
Initial APIC ID: 1
Hyper threading siblings: 2

Feature flags: bfe9fbff:
FPU Floating Point Unit
VME Virtual 8086 Mode Enhancements
DE Debugging Extensions
PSE Page Size Extensions
TSC Time Stamp Counter
MSR Model Specific Registers
PAE Physical Address Extension
MCE Machine Check Exception
CX8 COMPXCHG8B Instruction
APIC On-chip Advanced Programmable Interrupt Controller present and enabled
SEP Fast System Call
MTRR Memory Type Range Registers
PGE PTE Global Flag
MCA Machine Check Architecture
CMOV Conditional Move and Compare Instructions
FGPAT Page Attribute Table
CLFSH CFLUSH instruction
DS Debug store
ACPI Thermal Monitor and Clock Ctrl
MMX MMX instruction set
FXSR Fast FP/MMX Streaming SIMD Extensions save/restore
SSE Streaming SIMD Extensions instruction set
SSE2 SSE2 extensions
SS Self Snoop
HT Hyper Threading
TM Thermal monitor
31 reserved

Feature flags set 2: 0000c1a9:
SSE3 SSE3 extensions
MONITOR MONITOR/MWAIT instructions
5 - unknown feature
EST Enhanced Intel SpeedStep Technology
TM2 Thermal Monitor 2
xTPR Send Task Priority messages
15 - unknown feature

Extended feature flags: 00100000:
XD-bit Execution Disable bit

TLB and cache info:
b0: Instruction TLB: 4-KB Pages, 4-way set associative, 128 entries
b3: Data TLB: 4-KB Pages, 4-way set associative, 128 entries
02: Instruction TLB: 4MB pages, 4-way set assoc, 2 entries
f0: 64-byte prefetching
7d: 2nd-level cache: 2-MB, 8-way set associative, 64-byte line size
30: 1st-level instruction cache: 32-KB, 8-way set associative, 64-byte line size
04: Data TLB: 4MB pages, 4-way set assoc, 8 entries
2c: 1st-level data cache: 32-KB, 8-way set associative, 64-byte line size
Processor serial: 0000-06E8-0000-0000-0000-0000

Wireless: working.

ath0: <Atheros 5424> mem 0x98100000-0x9810ffff irq 11 at device 0.0 on pci3
ath0: Ethernet address: 00:16:cb:b6:fd:b7
ath0: mac 10.3 phy 6.1 radio 10.2

This detected during the install. Nothing special about it. Yay.

In my never-ending quest to get FreeBSD working properly on a MacBook Pro, brueffer was kind enough to point me towards andre when it came to the built in Marvell Yukon 88E8053 PCI-E gigabit ethernet. So, check this crazy shit out. Marvell/SysKonnect released their driver source under a BSD license. I realize this is old news, but I hadn't heard about it. I know what NIC's I'll be sticking to from now on.

Apparently my Craigslist post is already making its way around the internet. Heh. I've started talking to a few interesting people.

So, how does FreeBSDGirl handle a first date?

I don't really do dates. I've never had a date. They sound stressful and awkward, and I'm more of the grab what I want and make a run for it type. Last night, I met one of the guys I'd been talking to, and we went to a House of SAADE social. How's that for a first non-date? I figure the best way to see if they'll sink or swim is to throw them right into the deep end. He did pretty well. It turns out we sort of knew a few of the same mutual people. Our moms both grew up in Coral Gables, FL. Our dads both currently live in Fayetteville, GA. Some of the similarities were actually a bit creepy. It was a fun night. The highlight of the evening was probably some of the characters at the SAADE social, though. One of the women there (40+) was talking about a party she went to, and apparently right after she left the party, some chick started fisting herself. I was sitting there trying to keep from snickering, when she said "I really wish I hadn't left so early!" It's nice to be in a group that open about things. It reminds me of IRC, except much older and IRL.

I'm going out to see Clerks 2 tonight. I'm actually starting to have a use for my Google Calendar. One week in Austin, and my schedule is more full than it was in 5 years of living in Atlanta. I love this town. There's so much to do!

this made me chuckle.

This letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged women. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.

Then, bundle up your husband or boyfriend and send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 men. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 men, four of whom were worth keeping.

REMEMBER! This chain brings luck. One woman's pit bull died, and the next day she received an NFL offensive tackle. An unmarried Jewish woman living with her widowed mother was able to choose between an orthodontist and a gynecologist. You can be lucky too, so DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!
One woman broke the chain and got her own husband back.

A few days ago, an email was posted on the freebsd-advocacy mailing list about NYCBSDCon 2006. I'm going to try to be there. Anyone else thinking about going?

I've got a phone interview later today. Austin IT must be kicking, since I got a phone call about this half an hour after I sent my resume. I think they may have mentioned FreeBSD on the job requirements, but I could be wrong. Wish me luck.

So my to-do list for today? Yoga, cardio, walk to the grocery store to pick up something other than Tostado chips, finish unpacking, phone interview, more cardio, more yoga, more job searching.

I'm down to one cigarette a day and feeling pretty good about it. Not having my preferred cigs has been helping. Camel Lights taste like ass.

CACTUS was interesting. I was kind of hoping for more guys my own age, though. I even watched six episodes of Sex and the City to psyche myself up. I can do this, I can be single, it will be awesome. Right?

I looked pretty cute tonight, if I do say so myself. My eye makeup was green and flawless, and I wore my black leather knee high buckle boots. Due to two facials, the first with oceanic clay and the second a cucumber peel, my pores were smaller than they'd ever been before. I felt pretty good. It was nice to actually care what I looked like again. Living with a guy that never complimented me led to me not taking that great care of myself. I'm liking the change.

I've started working out again. It's easy to get back into, since James has an elliptical machine and a weight set. I'm getting in some hardcore cardio every day. My thin jeans will be fitting again in no time. This whole single thing is really encouraging me to stick to it.

HCoyote is taking me to CACTUS later tonight, so say hi if you see me there. :)

Since my old phone is pretty much destroyed, I lost all of my contact info. If I'm supposed to have your phone number, email it to me, and I'll reply with my new Austin number.

I made it to Austin late yesterday evening. The past few days have been eventful, to say the least.

Monday, I finished packing up all my things. Paul came over after work to help me ship them, but since his car is pretty small, it took us a lot of trips. We started moving things at 8:30 PM, and came back at midnight for the last load. When we got home, I tried to open the door, but Greg had decided to not let me have my computer, laptop, plane tickets, etc. After listening to him and Paul scream at each other, I decided that it would be a good thing to call the police. It was gratifying to finally hear someone yell at Greg, though. I just detest scenes. Greg finally let me in to get a few things, although he followed me around the apartment like a half-retarded ferret screaming "CUNT CUNT CUNT" and throwing my things. That kid has no self control whatsoever.

I talked to the police for a while afterwords. They were really sweet. I apologized for having to bring them out there, and asked them what my rights were in this situation. Greg is in for a rude awakening. Even if my name wasn't on the lease - and it is - I have rights as a resident there, because I've been living there for quite a while. Greg would have to serve me with papers to evict me, and he never did anything like that. I still have quite a few things left there - my TV, computer desk, couch, tables, lamps, books, hard drives - and I'm going to need to find someone to go back for them later. The police said they would be happy to escort that person whenever I wanted my things. I'm thinking about asking Paul to go, just because Greg seems so scared of him. The best part of the night was when Greg was screaming "YOU, I DON'T LIKE. I DON'T LIKE YOU." and Paul replied with "I WILL KICK YOUR FUCKING FACE IN." Greg got a very scared look on his face and shut the door. Greg's a big guy, I never would have guessed he'd act like that.

He did mention something interesting to me the other day. Apparently he's planning on leaving Google for Ciphertrust. Can anyone confirm/deny this? I call bullshit, as he said it during one of his little rants, and half of everything he says is usually completely bullshit. I wonder if his coworkers know about this, though?

Last night, despite the fact that I was in a strange bed in a strange town, I slept like a baby. I'm scared, don't believe for one second that I'm not. Spiteful coder boy came through, though. I don't know what I would have done without him. He requested I not use his name here, so "Spiteful coder boy" it is. He's an ex of mine, probably the ex. He's also remained one of my best friends through the years. I don't know what's worse though: knowing that I've been so wrong about some people for the past 2 years, or knowing that spiteful coder boy was right about these guys all along. I just want to rest my head on his shoulder and cry for all the time I've wasted, but that wouldn't accomplish much.

So now I hunt in Austin. Coder boys: the other white meat.

I am beyond exhausted. I finally got some sleep last night - 10 hours worth. I haven't stopped moving for the past 4 days. I would get an hour or two nap here and there, but nothing substantial. It was last night that my body finally gave out on me. Believe me, the sleep was not willing. There's so much left to do before I leave. I just realized this morning that I hadn't even taken any time to eat anything beyond three bites of a blueberry eggo waffle. It's no wonder I feel like crap. At least my pants are kind of baggy on me now, so at least something good came of all that.

Figuring out what I'm going to take with me is harder than I thought. Mark Linimon was sweet enough to let me borrow his fedex account so I can ship my LCD & desktop rig, but there's so much more I've got to worry about. Greg is letting me borrow his suitcases, which are fairly large. I should be able to pack a good amount of clothes into them. I'm going to have to take some of the proceeds from selling my things to ship the rest of my clothes, shoes, and girlstuff. I'll probably end up throwing some of it out. At least I'll finally be going through my closet.

I didn't even stop to consider things like DVD's, books, trinkets, my dev blankie, wallscrolls... my books are what I'm most concerned about. Even if I manage to narrow it down to one medium sized box full of books, I'd imagine that shipping them would be fairly expensive since it'll be a heavy box. After everything is said and done, I'll have about a car's load of boxes that I want to take with me, and I don't even want to think about how the hell I'm going to get it there. Austin is a 14 hour drive (I know, because I've made it before). Maybe I can talk James into making a trip out here sometime in the near future, but I doubt it. 28 hours in the car with me is some love and dedication.

For those of you that haven't figured it out, freebsdgirl.com has been moved to a new server. Someone that wishes to remain anonymous donated a jail on their server, so the site will stay up and I'll continue updating. I got 37 offers to host the site, I shit you not. Much love.

In other news, I'm moving to Austin next week. I'm leaving Atlanta. It's a plan I've had for a while, but it's a hollow victory. The first round of selling my stuff happens tonight. I'm selling everything, as it'll make it a lot easier to make the move. I'm hoping on a plane with my clothes/girlshit, and shipping my shoes, laptop, and desktop rig. Making a clean start seems like a good thing, but it's still a little painful selling all the things I've worked so hard to buy for myself. I'm in a bad situation, and it's the best way to get myself out of it. I need to leave this place as soon as possible. I'm hoping I can sell off most of it by this weekend; everything else is getting donated. If you live in Atlanta, contact me to see the list. If you're not local, the only things left that can be easily shipped is the black leather Prada purse (fuck that purse and the loser pissant that gave it to me) and the XBox. I already sold the XBox 360. The XBox comes with Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: Sith Lords, The Urbz: Sims in the City, Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude, Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy, Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom, Midnight Club 3 DUB Edition, ESPN 2K5, and Fable. I'm not sure what happened to the rest of the games. LSL:MCL ftw. I'm trying to sell all of that for $200, but make an offer and we can talk.

I've got to get a new phone tomorrow. Mine is smashed. Don't ask. I can still receive incoming calls, but since the LCD is busted, I can't see the screen to use my phone book. The best way to get ahold of me is going to be through AIM (sektie), but you can roll the dice with attempting to call me if it's really important.

Special thanks to Dan Langille, HCoyote, Ade Lovett, subdue, CrtxReavr, Greg Lehey, and anyone else I missed for being there for me last night. It was a rough night. Seeing how supportive and concerned these guys can be in a time of need still makes me feel like crying. FreeBSD 4 Lyf, or something.

It's kind of depressing how some people never change.

I'll admit that I partially bring this on by dating liars. If you put me in a room of guys and tell me to pick one to have a relationship with, I will unerringly grab the one with severe honesty issues. Other than that tiny flaw (which seems to only be a problem when dealing with the opposite sex), I'm a great judge of character. So, why I am I on this rant?

A few days ago, David was taking me to Fox Sports Grille (really nice, actually - try it if you're in the Atlanta area), and we got into a conversation about Mike. It's no secret that Mike used to work at ISS with me. Eventually he left them to go work for Reflex Security as a sales monkey, but I wasn't enlightened as to the 'why' of that until David explained to me what had concluded Mike's employment at ISS. Mike was asked to leave (fired!) after trying to tell everyone on IRC that David was a shitty coder, stole other people's code, etc. Now, I've known David a very long time - since I was 15. I remember what David's code used to be utter shit, but that was years ago, and he was just starting out. Mike has never seen David's code, so I found it really kind of funny that he could comment on it. Apparently ISS took a more serious view of the matter, and after repeated incidents, they canned his ass.

During all this, I had no idea what was going on. Mike never let on what had actually happened at ISS, and he counted on me not talking to many people that worked there. Busted. This was confirmed by others, as well. He made it sound like it was his decision to leave so he could get a job at Reflex. It's all kind of fucked up - how do you not tell your girlfriend that you were fired?

sektie: what do you think the purpose of a marriage is?
James: a public statement regarding your intention of loyalty
sektie: oh.
James: s/loyalty/fidelity
sektie: oh dear.
James: yes, you'll see i'm not married 
James: that or a tax break
sektie: i like the tax break.
sektie: i see a marriage as a way of telling a person that you'll always be there for them when they need you. it's not necessarily a definition of fidelity to me. it's a promise of a lot more than that.
James: i can't imagine telling a friend more clearly that i'll always be here for them, then... you know... always being here for them 
James: s/then/than/
sektie: it's more than friendship, though.
sektie: it involves nakedness.
sektie: it's sort of an "i'll always do you, even if you code in java and get fat"
James: well... maybe not java.
James: but i had sex with you when you were heavier and coded perl... doesn't that count for something?!