All I do on my weekends is sleep. Last weekend, I know I slept 30 hours in bed. This Friday night, I slept over 14 hours. Saturday night, I slept 12. I always wake up feeling as tired as I was when I first climbed in bed. I hate going to sleep, and I put it off for as long as I can until I just can't fight it anymore. I feel sick almost all the time now. It's like being slightly hungover, an affliction that even my daily guzzling of Pepto Bismol won't solve. I've been having random hot and cold flashes - more hot than cold, but they come on so sudden and so strong.
I don't want to go back to the doctor. They can't tell me anything I haven't already heard. Doctors are only there to give you pills, and pills don't fix anything. Pills are just that last dernier ressort, when it gets so bad I think I'm about to go insane, they offer that brief moment of ataraxia, perfect peace. It's easy to feel like you could go insane when you're always in pain. It's even easier when you hate closing your eyes because you know you're going to fall asleep, and then the dreams will come that you can't make yourself remember, and you're not sure if you want to, anyways.
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