People toss around the words "I'd die for <insert name here>" like it's supposed to mean something. Dying for someone isn't nearly as meaningful as living for someone. How often do you hear someone say that he/she'd live for someone? That's a real display of love. Or dependancy issues. Either way, I suppose it's rather fucked up, but you see the point.
November 2004 Archives
Post-coital snuggles is as important as sex itself. It doesn't matter if you get your girl off 4 times. If you don't cuddle with her for at least half of n, where n is the total combined time of foreplay + sex, then it was not as pleasant of an experience for her and you suck. *
Mike and I are coming up on our 1 year anniversary in a month. That may not seem like a lot to some people, but it qualifies it as the second-longest relationship in my life, and the only successful one so far. Although I suppose that everyone can only have one successful relationship, right? Because if the other ones were successful, they'd still be in them. Regardless, we're trying to figure out what we're going to do for it. We're also thinking about heading to New Orleans for New Year's Eve, but I think I'd rather stay in town, especially now that best evar andy capp is going to be in town. There will be partying. Oh yes, there shall. General debauchery, you can count on it. I am excited! **
* This does not mean that my boyfriend or anyone in specific was guilty of said action. It's just a general note that everyone should pay attention to.
** If I don't go to New Orleans and you back out and stay in Ohio, your balls are mine, on a motherfucking platter. You shall be owned.
Wow, that last post got a lot of comments. Mostly #nanog, I'm guessing. It's funny how people that hate me so much can't seem to get enough of my blog. I guess I'm an easy target for idle IRC hate.
I had a job interview Friday. I wasn't even looking for a job; the opportunity just fell into my lap. I seem to have fairly good luck on the job front. This looks a lot better for me than the job at ISS. UNIX admin again, uNF. We'll see. I should know how it went by Monday. I'm feeling fairly confident about it. Mike said I rocked the interview.
Mike and I went to the Build-A-Bear workshop today. He helped me build a bear that I'll be sure to post pictures of later. We walked in and picked out a really soft butterscotch-colored bear, then approached the stuffers to get it properly filled out. They had this dorky heart ceremony I had to go through, where I had to tap the bear's heart (which I picked out) 5 times to make it beat, and give it a kiss for love. After being verbally intimidated by the Helper chick that was leading us though the ceremony and I, Mike gave in and picked out a heart as well. I saw him hurry and give it a kiss before shoving it into the bear. The thought still makes me giggle. He looked so uncomfortable, and he was obviously hoping no one saw him give it a kiss. They sewed the hole for the hearts up, and I picked out an adorable angel costume and glittery shoes for the bear. Then we went to the computer station and filled out a birth certificate, naming her Angelina, after Angelina Jolie. It was one of the sweetest things any guy has ever done for me. Now I can cuddle with the bear the nights we aren't together and think of him. :)
I hope all my readers had a good holiday weekend. As for myself, it went fairly well. I spent Thanksgiving with Mike at his parents house.
Other than a slight altercation with his sister, it went fine. I'm not sure what her problem is. Mike thinks she's jealous of me. Apparently she's always acted this way with his girlfriends. After what I went through with Chad's parents and siblings though...family is always really hard for me. Trying to gain their acceptance is a huge thing, so I was devestated that she could be so cruel when I read this. Fortunately, I wasn't at my laptop when she sent it, so I didn't see it until the day after Thanksgiving. We actually weren't running late at all. We got there an hour before we said we'd be there. Mike does have a serious problem with sticking to a schedule, but it's hardly my fault. If I can't get him to be on time for things with me, how should she expect me to get him to change for them?
4:10 PM
Rachel: randi...please dont hold up my holiday plans or my thanksgiving
Rachel: i dont appreciate either of you or michaels poor planning
Rachel: none of us do
Rachel: ok i highly dont appreciate it...that is so grounds for me not liking you at all.....you are taking my brother away from my family time....you get to see him all the fucking time
Rachel: i never get to see him
4:15 PM
Rachel: and when i do...its never his damn fault that hes late...all he does is blame us or say that you forgot a pair of fucking pants
Rachel: both of you grow up and learn to be on time
5:20 PM
Rachel: ok sorry for being mean
Rachel: sorry sorry
Rachel: being hungry does that to you
Rachel: along with pms
Rachel: so....yes i do appologize
Rachel: so...sorry again....
I can hear the engine on Mike's borrowed truck whirring like a confused lawnmower as he pulls out of the driveway. It's just after noon. We both woke up about 20 minutes ago, and he's in a panic because he has so much to do today and he slept the morning away. It's nice to see him actually getting some sleep for once. I told him that I'll let him leave in a few minutes, but I wanted to cuddle first. Now, listening to him drive away with the quiet soundtrack of rain hitting my driveway and front yard, I miss him already. It's probably just the drugs. I took two hits of E last night, and it's the first time I've done that drug in a while. I thought it would be too tame for me, since I've gotten used to a few harder drugs. It was actually fairly enjoyable. I just cuddled next to Mike all night long while we watched movies. He was bored, and getting somewhat tired of my purring and stretching and squirming and rubbing up against his side. He wasn't rolling, poor boy. We partied a little too hard Friday night, and he just wasn't up to partying again so soon. If I'm feeling a little depressed now, I suppose it's understandable. It's a side effect of the drug.
I'm happy, and it's strange. By all rights, I should be panicking right now. Last weekend was the worst weekend of my entire life. I ran out of gas in Mike's car on the shoulder of I-285 at 6:00 AM on a Friday. It was freezing cold out, I was in pain, and it took me over 2 hours to find someone to come pick me up. I was my usual stressball of hate the entire weekend, snapping at Mike and anyone else who dared to get in my path. Sunday night I went to jail, and it took me quite a while to get out of there. Once I finally did get out, I got fired because I had missed work. After all of this that has happened to me, with the state I was in before, you'd expect me to be a collapsed, crying, and having a nervous breakdown. Since the day I left work, I feel less stressed than I have been in a long time. I didn't realize how much I absolutely hated my job. I knew it wasn't right for me, but I loved the company so much. ISS is an awesome company. My coworkers were great, both night shift and day shift. I met a lot of people there that made the 8 months of having to use Windows totally worth it. I'm not upset about what happened. I feel kind of like Peter from Office Space.
I am now going to go play Star Wars: Knights of The Old Republic on my XBox and eat a corndog. Being unemployed rocks!
'Scuse the downtime. I left a portupgrade -ar running and forgot all about it. mysql didn't start back up properly. teehee.
Infernal Device: a database of torture and execution devices and methods.
Check out the forums if you haven't already. I posted some info about the new site, and I'm always looking for more input. I'm going to change the private site to use the user database from the forums instead of the htaccess I'm currently using, so if you currently have a login, be sure to register over on the forums.
3 jails.
2 warrents.
$400 total bail.
1 day.
It's been a really bad weekend.
Friday, I left work early because I was in horrible pain (again). I left at 6 and started on my way home, figuring I might be able to work out the problems in my spine without hitting up another hospital (4th one in 4 weeks). I wasn't paying attention to the gas meter apparently, probably due to the distraction of my ribs feeling like they were collapsing in on my lungs. When I got on I-285, about halfway between work and home, the car ran out of gas. I saw the 'check engine' light flashing, so I pulled over to the side of the road and turned the car off right before it would have died. I was right off Riverside exit, and despite my back, I could have walked to the gas station myself, but it was raining and freezing cold out, and all I had was my thin little t-shirt and jeans, no socks, and sandals. I pulled out my cell phone and tried calling Mike - no answer. Not a huge surprise. I knew he had taken the day off, and it's really difficult to wake him up when he's not expecting it. I called back again, and again, and again, and again. My painkillers started kicking in, and the car was getting pretty cold at that point. I curled up in the drivers seat and covered myself up with a towel to preserve body heat. I think I fell asleep for about an hour, and then I woke up to try to call him again. I tried about 30 times total, I think. Finally his roommate, Matt, woke him up. Mike left his cell phone out in the living room. I fell back asleep, and woke up to see Mike putting gas in the car. He followed me home, so he could make sure I got there alright. I don't really remember driving home. Mike said that I was weaving inside my lane a lot, and that I was off on the shoulder when I got off the exit for Delk road. I really must have been fucked up from those pills. As soon as I got home, I slumped over in the car and fell back asleep. I woke up to hear him pulling in behind me, and he woke me up and took me inside. I fell back asleep in the bed, and I remember him laying down next to me with his arm around me. I know he didn't stay long, but that didn't matter because I was asleep by the time he left. I always sleep better when it's next to him. :)
Saturday was fairly uneventful. I drove to Perimeter Mall, bought a really soft fuzzy sweater from the Gap for myself, a few shirts from the Gap for Mike, pajamas from Victoria's Secret for myself, a purse for Michelle from Bebe, DKNY's Be Delicious from Bloomingdales, and various Christmas presents for loved ones. I left there and drove to Frys to meet Chad and Nathan there. Chad had never been to Frys before, so I was looking forward to it. He had fun in the DVD section while Nathan and I wandered around the store looking at XBox games. I bought him Spongebob Squarepants for the XBox, and he got very excited. I also picked up the Logitech bluetooth mouse and keyboard, the Initial-D DVD set for Chad, and a couple of cheap DVD's. Mike met us at the cafe inside Frys, and we all talked for a bit over yummy tuna melt's and Red Bull. Note to self: never give a 3 year old Red Bull ever again. It was interesting watching Mike and Chad talking together. They looked at ease. It's comforting. I'm no longer with Chad, but as the father of my child, he's still very much a large part of my life, as is Mike. It's good to see the pieces fitting together, for once.
Sunday I went to jail. I was driving on Delk Road around 11:00 P.M. on my way to work. I got pulled over because I have my trucks tags on Mike's car. Well, whatever. So they run my license, and surprise - 2 warrents! It turns out I had two tickets that I was supposed to show up in court for, both for expired tags on Chad's car. So they take me to Cobb County jail, and I hang out there for about 6-7 hours, waiting for Riverdale P.D. to show up.
Cobb County jail was somewhat interesting. I got there early, and they have the male and female intake separated, so I only got to hang out with girls. Shortly after I arrived, another girl showed up. She looked to be fairly young, and I started talking to her. She was from Columbus, Ohio and was on her way home with her boyfriend. That part sounded normal enough. Then she proceeded to explain that she was 19, her boyfriend was some huge 37 year old black guy named Brutus. He's a truck driver. They were driving back, and she was drunk and passed out in his truck, and he pulled a BB gun out of his truck and aimed it at someone. The police were called, and she was woken up and brought into jail for underage drinking. The bail was only $300, but her family was a bunch of crackheads that couldn't afford it, and apparently she was on probation as well. I didn't really know what to tell her, so I went to sleep. When they were booking me, I kept cracking jokes and making the intake officers smile, so they were pretty nice to me. They kept apologizing that it was taking so long.
Finally, an officer from the Riverdale P.D. showed up, and he put me in the back of his car and took me to Clayton County jail. He was really nice, and we talked about the computer systems they used and he played mp3's for me. Really cool guy. Clayton County jail sucked, though. It wouldn't have been so bad if not for angry she-wookie. Everyone loved me except her. I think she was racist. She seemed nice enough to everyone else, she just hated the only white girl in there. Yeah, well, I'm not even going to get into all of that, because it still pisses me off. When I left though, she wasn't too happy to hear from me that I make probably 3-4 times what she makes, and as I pay more taxes then her, I'm more important to society than her. Oh, well. She's the only person I was rude to at all, and that's only as I was leaving. She strip searched me, sprayed me with this stuff that was totally Eau de Jail, and stuck me down in the real jail (not just holding cells). Real jail was neat. I got to talk to a lot of really normal looking girls that were in for a lot of fucked up stuff. Most were in for something to do with meth (big surprise, it IS the southside, after all), some were in for abusing their boyfriends, etc. They were all like "so, what are you in for?" and when I replied "expired tags", their jaws dropped. They watched soap operas and explained the plot to me since I generally don't watch such fluff. Soap operas are just as bad as everyone always told me they were. It's like, randomly take twin sisters, natural disasters, parents that die but then are alive and then die again, affairs, psychotic lovers, and bad acting and you've got yourself a soap opera. She-wookie came downstairs to tell me I wasn't getting out for 48 hours, and I was like "excuse me? Bail was paid." She then told me "don't talk to me, you're an inmate." This was the 20th time she'd used that line on me. She also denied me my medication, which I think is illegal because I have to have it, and it was in my belongings. The other jails I went to all gave it to me. After a while, Tyrone P.D. showed up. At this point, I had been in jail for a long freaking time and was getting really bored.
The office from Tyrone was really nice. We talked about motorcycles a lot. He reminded me of my dad, except my dad is psycho and this officer wasn't. He let me use his jacket because I was so cold. When we got to Fayette County P.D., they sat me in a freezing cold holding cell, and proceeded to do absolutely nothing with me for about 4 hours. I was tired, this was the last jail I was supposed to be in for today, and I wanted to go home. There wasn't even anyone in the holding cell with me. If there had been, it certainly would have been slightly more tolerable. So I started crying, saying my back hurt and that the she-wookie hadn't given me my pills. It's true that it was starting to hurt quite a bit, but generally I have to be in a lot of fuqn pain to cry from it. They paniced, gave me all the pills I wanted, and finally proceeded to book me. It took about an hour to get the booking done, then I called Mike, who was waiting at my dads. He called a taxi, but that taxi got lost, so it was another hour or two before he showed up. The guy booking me was awesome. We talked about motorcycles and drag racing, and he didn't make me go back in that holding cell, so I was free to wander around. I think that angered the female cop there. Why are female cops so bitchy? Seriously. All the guy cops I met on Sunday/Monday loved me. It was the females that felt the need to reaffirm their superiority. Bitches. It took a while to finalize the bail and all that, but it was paid and I got to go home.
By the time I got home, I was exhausted, I fell asleep in Mike's lap in the car. I felt dirty and tired, so I took a shower and fell asleep standing up. 2 days of missed work because of jail. Ugh.
At least it provided for an interesting story for my blog. I'll have the scans of all my documents in sometime later this week. My scanner is at home, and I'm stuck over at Mike's right now. All I thought about while I was in jail (other than mentally coding to keep myself from going insane, that is) was getting home and cuddling up next to him. Despite our fights and problems, I love him. He makes me feel safe. <3
I'm just working on things. :)
More to come.
I'm really loving this make your own dong idea. I sent it to Tucker Max just to see if he'd seen it yet. I love Tucker Max. If I ever find myself to be single again, I'm going to aspire to be just like him. He is my hero.
To: tuckermax@gmail.com Cc: Bcc: Subject: hi tucker. Reply-To: X-Operating-System: FreeBSD 5.3-RC1 X-Shameless-Selflove: http://freebsdgirl.com X-Boyfriend: Linux User :(I don't usually send out email to people I don't know, but this bears breaking the rule. Have you seen http://www.makeyourowndildo.com/ ? Given your internet superstar status, you could probably market these fairly well. I don't know if I'd buy a realistic Tucker Max dildo, but I'm sure other females of the questionable variety might be into it. It'd be a good way to help pay for your webhosting costs.
And now the obligatory "I love your site, write more updates, yadda yadda yadda."
Randi Harper
Make your own dildo. All the FreeBSD committers should do this, then we can sell plastic dong replicas of commiter cocks. This is a great idea. We'd donate the procedes to the FreeBSD Foundation, of course.
FreeBSD dongs! Collect them all!
(And of course, we all know this only works for FreeBSD. Because if debian was to steal this idea, who would want to buy a 3" penis?)
Edit: Incidentally, there's a picture in the things-and-stuff gallery that I'm not posting here direclty as it's not safe for work. FreeBSD committers send me pictures of their dongs. teehee.
Andrew Sutcliffe: did you shave your Bush today ? Andrew Sutcliffe: /me waits for the scream
If one more person IM's me telling me to vote or asking me if I've voted, I'm going to scream.
Where do you think I've been all morning?
GAAAAH.
omg love
MY WALKING IS SIMILAR TO THAT OFA DRUNKENN ELVIS IMPERSONATOR. PORCUPINE.
ahfahfdaha
ungh.
having issues
holding head up
hmmm
At the risk of another "told you I was hardcore" type joke, here's my pill menu for tonight:
2 x Baclofen @ 10mg/each
1 x Robaxin @ 750mg/each
1 x Zanaflex @ 4mg/each
1 x Flexeril @ 10mg/each
1 x Toradol @ 10mg/each
I just took all of these at once. The next hour should be fairly interesting. My back should be going numb soon. Seems like a good idea to get on with the story while I can still type.
The fun was Saturday night, but a bit of background:
Friday - got off work in the morning, proceeded to do things. I never managed to get any sleep that day. I went shopping at Bloomingdales and got a gorgeous dress reminiscent of the red dress in Resident Evil, except it was black and just a little longer. I got some matching black leather knee-high boots, and it was to die for. After the people at Chanel got done with my makeup, I was feeling pretty good about how I looked. I went to work to pick up Mike after I realized I had no time to pick up Nathan for the work party - traffic was sucking, and it was getting late. I hung out there for about an hour, avoiding the rubber-band wars, and drank a beer. I felt a little out of place since a lot of people there were wearing costumes, so as I told Puster, "This is my Halloween costume. I'm dressed up like a girl". This got a few laughs out of the people that I saw on a regular basis, a lot of blank looks from everyone else. Keeping in mind that I hadn't slept for at least 24 hours - and this is without pills, too! - we drove over to Emory in Decatur to see Over The Top with Mike's parents, his sister, and his sister's boyfriend. It was a lot more entertaining than I thought it would be. Somehow I managed to stay awake until the end of the show, and then Mike drove us back to his place, where I promptly fell asleep. I thought I was going to have to work OT that night, but Kaylor took it for me (thanks Kaylor! you rock!)
The next day was a similar blur - ran around the mall, trying to get myself together. Chanel did my makeup again, although I wasn't too happy about the eyes. I met Mike over at Evolutions so both of us could get haircuts, and my hairstylist (also named Michael) used a straightener on my hair and fixed my eye makeup for me. I got my nails done while I was there. To celebrate, we went next door to the sports bar and did a few shots while watching the game (haha, FL sucks). The bartender was dressed up as a condom, I think. How odd.
We had to take care of a few miscellaneous things, like getting a costume for Mike before the party, so we went across the street to the costume shot. After deliberating over the fairly large selection of adult male costumes they had in stock, Mike decided to be - oh, I bet you saw this one coming - a bottle of Southern Comfort. How fitting.
I drove back to my place to meet him there, and I started putting on my costume. I love going to the renaissance festival, although I'm not one of the dorks that works there. Really, I just love any excuse to dress up in the corset, the big skirts, etc. I would dress like that every day if I could get away from it. What can I say? I'm old fashioned at heart.
After lacing up my corset properly to cut off my oxygen supply and make my boobs feel like they were about to explode, I laid down for a few minutes to catch my breath. Mike showed up, so I laced up my Nine West ribbon heels (not exactly historically accurate, but with a corset like that, who is going to be looking at my feet?) and ran out to the car.
The party was taking place at the neighbor of Mike's boss, Terry. Something you've got to understand about parties put on by coworkers - they are alcoholic to the extreme. I showed up giggling from a Red Bull, and I started right in on the vodka the second I stepped through the door. I'm fairly certain Terry was already trashed, although I was too busy trying to catch up to pay much attention.
Mike picked up some Red Bull and Kettle 1 for me. I hadn't ever had Red Bull and vodka before, although I'd heard it was yummy.
I now know better. Red Bull and Vodka is the devil. The spawn of satan.
The night is still pretty blurry. I'm starting to remember more and more of it. Here's some colorful highlights:
Terry running headfirst into a wooden gate. Apparently, the other drunks were having issues opening the gate to the fence (which is approximately 7' high, I'm guessing, flat wooden slats), and so Terry told them to move aside and ran right into it. I guess he didn't realize it opened to the inside.
Eric commenting on my chest. I didn't really think anyone would say anything outright, but I should have known better. Eric always speaks his mind. It led to a pretty big argument when I first started here, but I like him now. He's as loud and obnoxious as me, and that makes him cool. His wife was pretty interesting, too. She'd have to have a steel spine to put up with him (And Eric, I mean that in the nicest way possible.) :)
Terry going next door to give his wife's mom a hug. His wife was mortified. I don't think she wanted her mom to know they were drinking? Not sure what the problem was. Regardless, the look on her face when he said this was priceless.
Someone passing out at the party. I forgot who. He went to go vomit behind the trees and Tone ran over there and started jumping up and down and yelling and laughing. Tone rocks.
My odd moment of clarity. Occasionally the fog lifts, and I see something so bloody obvious, I want to slap myself. These moments often come when I'm under the influence of alcohol. This moment of clarity revealed: I'm a bitch. Not just when I'm drunk, but I'm a bitch in general, and mainly just to my boyfriend. Hm. I'm working on this now. Identify the problem, tackle it.
The ride home. Mother, coworkers, and anyone else that might be offended hearing about my sex life, stop reading here.
Although I didn't know this at the time, apparently I get really horny when I get drunk. I started making Mike a very happy man while he was driving us home (or so he tells me), but then I realized I had to pee. BAD. So I stop in the middle of everything and start whimpering/twitching/sniffling - it was horrible. This part I remember. I thought I was going to pee myself. We finally found a QT, and I bolted inside to the bathroom. I am very against using public restrooms, but this time I made an exception. I think I passed out as soon as we continued on the drive home. Mike did get laid though. I think. I don't really remember it that well. It's all really fuzzy at this point. I remember being dragged out to the truck because I couldn't walk very well, and I was giggling a lot, and then everything went blurry.
I haven't been that drunk in a really long time. Generally, even when I drink a lot of vodka, I can still walk around in 6" heels unassisted. These heels weren't even that high. I think even if I had been barefoot, I would have required help.
The good part is the next morning I wasn't even hung over. I had a slight migraine, but it was due to other circumstances, not the alcohol. I love being me.
Taken from the Motorola V600
I look really really pissed off, and tired.
And fat.
Courtesy of EvilBMS: Pumpkin Porn
Does anyone here remember Space Ghost, back when they used to play it on Cartoon Network every night? My favorite character is Brak. I love Brak. This is going to sound kind of funny, but I would so totally hit that. Brak is like a cartoon replica of Mike.
Qmail is a piece of shit.
It's like "here, it sucks, so have fun applying the gazillion patches a gazillion people have written to make it ACTUALLY FUNCTIONAL".
People that run qmail doubtless shop at Old Navy and think they are trendy.
You aren't trendy, you're just too cheap to shop at Banana Republic, which is at least further up the Old Navy line.
(Explanation for the males in the audience: Old Navy, Gap, and Banana Republic are all owned by the same company. The quality, fit, and price go up as you work your way up the shopping food chain.)
Stick to using gmail. You shouldn't be allowed to run your own mail server.
Love,
Randi
I woke up about 20 minutes ago because I needed to pee.
My laptop was right next to me in bed, so I rolled over and checked my email.
Then I checked AIM.
Then I checked IRC.
Then I checked the forum.
I still need to pee.
I think the move is complete, other than setting up my reverse DNS. Hmm...
I'm sure there's little things to be done here and there. It's sort of like moving into a new house. You want everything to be perfect and coordinated and organized and lovely. If you posted a comment in the past few hours, you may have noticed that it disappeared. This isn't because I don't like you. :) I did an initial rsync of the database right when I started bringing all of this up, and it hadn't propagated yet before people started posting comments. Feel free to repost if you wish.
My halloween was absolutely fabulous. More on that to come.
Website should be moved over to new server now. DNS is pointing that way, too. hm. Looks like the site was down for a day - sorry folks. I have to call my old webhosting company today and pay them what I owe them. Despite the fact that I'm leaving, I'm not going to screw them over. I love layeredtech. They just aren't local. :(
So, here goes:
apache 2.x config: done
rsync of web directories for all hosted websites: done
rsync of home directories: done
DNS (bind9): done
misc. required software installed: done
mail setup: to do!
Hm. I had qmail set up, but qmail is gay. Not that I'd want to offend any of the homosexuals in the audience, but you get the point. I'm thinking of doing procmail, because I <3 my Maildir setup and refuse to go back to mbox format. Maildir is the shit.
