Hi. This is to 'fu'. If you are Adrian, call my goddamn cell phone. DiGanci has the number. Oh hell, it's not like you can't get it by doing a whois on my domain. 404.917.4471.
So yeah. Anyways, call. Because I don't know anyone else that would comment that Mike Smith sucks. Does Interland reject mail from iss.net, or have you left the company?
There's a lot of people opposing this so-called war. You can see it in blogs, on the radio, on tv, or just talking to your friends and coworkers. I've talked to very few people that say "Yeah man, this war is great! We really needed to be in it."
Remember Vietnam? OK, no, you probably don't. Neither do I. I wasn't born yet. But I've seen movies, damn it. I know about the hippies that opposed the war. There were a lot of anti-war demonstrations, random acts of sex and drugs, rallies, etc. Although it was shrouded in a dense fog of smoke from their bongs, people did try to stand up and speak out with their beliefs. They thought that the individual voice was just as loud as the collective. Every person made a difference.
So what's up with the apathy now?
Sure, if you walk up to someone on the street and ask them what they think of the war, they'll give you their opinion, and it's sure to be negative. But does anyone actually try to make a difference?
The closest you can come is blogs, really. Thank you, Rude Pundit, among others. Is the internet really it, though? Isn't anyone willing to put forth a little more effort than that?
Is it that people are lazier than they were in the 60's? I think it's just that we're all jaded. We don't think the individual can really make a difference, so we don't even bother trying. We bitch and moan, but we go on with every day life.
Personally, I'd like to see more hippies.
(note: for the random garbage that i spew, please see rot13.)
<veiknull> i'm on this site with a very f*cked up directory structure. it's hard to lftp to retrieve it all. perhaps i should use an x11 ftp to just grab them all? which one? <sektie> QBATF QBATF QBATF <PetRock> fuck.....the word is fuck <PetRock> or in your case fucked up <sektie> why do people do that? <sektie> like put 'f*ck' or 'f-ck' <veiknull> what <veiknull> fuck shit sex <veiknull> PetRock: what do i do <sektie> sex isn't a cuss word. <sektie> why do you associate sex with shit? <sektie> are you german? <veiknull> hahaha <veiknull> hush
Medication for today: Toradol, Robaxin, Baclofen
I'm in quite a bit of pain right now. It sucks, but after all the pills I just took, it should be going away soon enough. I pulled that muscle around my left shoulder again, so anytime I use my left arm (like for..oh, I don't know, typing?) spikes of pain shoot down my side. Yet I still blog. Obviously, I'm masochistic. Regardless, I'm at work, so I've got to type anyways. Pain makes me bitchy. Case in point (lots of crap edited out as it was mostly irrelevant):
<krzee> k@joogot:~> ps aux <krzee> ps: /dev/null: Too many open files in system <sektie> what the hell did you do to take up all the open file descriptors? <krzee> i have no clue, is there a way to check? <verbose__> yes, it's called remembering <krzee> verbose__: i have like 60 users <krzee> i dont know who did what <verbose__> it's called ulimit <sektie> haha <krzee> i have kern.maxfiles=3036, kern.maxfilesperprox=1024 <krzee> this has happened before and ive tried playing with those because my only errors were about maxfiles, this is the first time i had a root terminal open already <krzee> would lsof be helpful in catching the offending process(es)? <sektie> have you tried running it? <krzee> it runs fine <sektie> why are you asking questions here instead of trying it yourself? <krzee> everything in the root terminal does <krzee> i ran lsof <krzee> i dont know what to look for <sektie> uh, lots of files being open. <BBS> you count what's using all the files <BBS> 3036 seems pretty low for maxfiles though, doesn't it? <BBS> regardless, if you can run lsof, and ps and top from the root login, track down what's using your resources <krzee> is TIME important in top? <sektie> krzee: man top. jesus christ. you're always in here asking the simplest questions. have you EVER tried to rtfm? <sektie> we don't mind helping people, but we'd prefer they try to help themselves first. <sektie> if you want someone to admin your box for you, then you pay them. <krzee> damn girl <krzee> ive read that man page a buncha times i just forget that part <krzee> figured someone may remember off top of head ? sektie rips out her hair. ? krzee/#FreeBSDHelp hands sektie the bong <PetRock> and he wonders why he can't remember shit <sektie> no shit. <PetRock> put the bong down, stupid pothead <sektie> drugs are bad. <krzee> gang up on krzee day <krzee> ill sit it out ??? krzee [k@krzee.doeshosting.com] has left #FreeBSDHelp [] <PetRock> sad that he does hosting....and he has to talk about it in his vhost
Fuckin' A.
? wanker ponders if their are any limits too the uses of the holodeck <Wolfey> it cant kill <wanker> I mean like, if someone is doing kiddie porn or something like that <Wolfey> unless the safeguards are removed <wanker> safeguards against perversion and whatnot <Wolfey> i mean <Wolfey> barclay programmed in troy to fuck him senseless in that 1 episode <Wolfey> so maybe anything is possible
FreeBSD 5.3-RC1. Hmm. Apparently, in 5.3 they switched to Bind9. That's just fucking fabulous. Why? At least it's 9.3.0.
Moving stuff over is a slow and tedious process. I can handle most of it with rsync, but then there's configuration issues and such. I've been working on this on and off all week. I hope to have it finished this weekend. Then I have go figure out my registrar login and get the nameserver info switched over. I'm going to be handling my own reverse once vapor gets that set up, and that will be a welcome change. I need to tell him I need more IP's, as well. We'll see how this goes. I still have my reservations, but it appears to be a faster server. FreeBSDGirl.com's bandwidth has sucked lately - enough to make it a major issue.
I now have 0 working desktops. Thank you, AMD. I hate you. I get paid this week, but I can't even spend any of that money on computer stuff. Rent, Dad, etc. Too many bills.
Terry's party is this weekend. I am so excited! Halloween is the best holiday. I got out my costume the other day. I'm curious as to exactly how well a corset and alcohol are going to work together. I don't think anyone at work has ever seen me in girl clothes, with the exception of a few people from X-Force. I love dressing up. I wish I worked days. I'd dress up every day. Fuck jeans and t-shirts. I'm a skirt and heels kind of girl.
It started out innocently enough.
"You look like you need to get stoned."
"I haven't smoked weed in over 2 months. You know it makes me bitchy."
"Yeah, but you look like you really need to relax."
I laid face down on the couch for a bit, contemplating this. The tears drying on my cheeks were making my skin itch. Maybe I did need something to help take the edge off. It didn't really matter why I had been crying. I always had a new reason waiting to be used.
I was exhausted. I hadn't slept in over 24 hours thanks to the wonder drug of my generation, Adderall.. I didn't want to go to sleep yet. Things were finally starting to feel alright. Maybe I could even smile just a little if I tried hard enough. If I could forget long enough...
So I gave in. Peer pressure is a bitch. I know he didn't mean to pressure me. It's hard not to do drugs when you have a boyfriend like mine. He's always got it available.
It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I tend to get easily irritated when I smoke weed. I think my mind was just at such a level of exhaustion that it didn't have the energy to put up a fight.
I don't know how it came up exactly. Maybe he was talking about how it was offered to him. Maybe I made a crack about how I'd prefer some other type of drug - we both knew what I was talking about. I was mostly joking. I don't even think I really wanted it that much. He got a serious look on his face.
"Are you sure? I can make some calls."
Never ask someone that about blow. Someone that has done blow before rarely turns it down if it's offered. I started considering it, although I knew already what the answer would be. Still, I was hesitant to tell him yes. It had been a while since we'd last done it, but not that long. 2 weeks. He thought it was longer than that, and I didn't bother to correct him. Time is irrelevant when you've got a line sitting in front of you.
"OK, do it."
He made the call. We're in luck, we just got passed up the drug chain to our dealer's dealer. This kind of thing doesn't happen often. I start to get excited. I don't like doing mediocre blow. If you're going to do it, you might as well do it right. I don't want to waste my time, money, or sinus cavity lining on cheap blow. I want to have fun, even if it costs more. Apparently my expensive tastes apply to drugs as well.
Before we could settle down to start our long night, we got a call from his roommate, who was at a Doors concert. Not the original Doors, obviously, but one that has a few of the original band members. He was tripping on shrooms and couldn't remember where he put his car, so we set out to find him. We couldn't very well leave him there.
We dropped him off at a friends house, picking ourselves up some shrooms along the way. I knew I don't have the mentality for shrooms, but I like doing them occasionally regardless. We picked up some food along the way, which was probably a good idea considering I hadn't ate in a few days. It's hard for me to find time for food and sleep. Finally, we started back to the house, a wealth of drugs and food in our posession.
When we got back, a few friends showed up and we proceeded to get stoned. He made the call for the blow, and I collapsed on the couch. I'm only going to lay down for a minute, I told myself. The next thing I knew, he was shaking me, telling me the blow was there. I looked around groggily. Alright, I'll be up in just a minute - maybe five. I'll be right there, I promise. Go ahead and start without me.
An hour later, I finally lifted myself off the couch and propelled myself to the kitchen table, where the lines were waiting.
To be continued.
He said he'd be here.
He said he'd try his hardest. He'd do everything in his power to be here on time.
He knew how important it was to me.
I don't know why the fuck I believed him.
People don't change. They just get better at lying about it.
I just realized that the amount of cuddles I get from Mike is directly proportional to my happiness. We haven't been cuddling much for months now. I mean, cuddling before sleep is one thing - not that we even get to go to sleep at the same time much as it is, since I work nights - but cuddling on the couch while watching TV is something different. I miss that. He just doesn't seem to like it the way I do. He always wants to sit back in his recliner thing and drink a beer and watch the game. I can deal with him drinking the beer, I like watching the game, but can he please sit next to me on the couch? Is it such a big deal? Heaven forbid.
"I'm a Mormon."
"I'm a homosexual."
"In my church, we don't believe in homosexuals."
"In my church, we don't believe in Mormons."
In 1985, the AIDS epidemic is just starting. In Manhattan the lives of a group of strangers, friends and lovers will be touched by it beyond repair. Prior and Lou are gay lovers, however when Prior falls ill, Lou leaves him, unable to handle the illness and possible death. Meanwhile two supposedly straight men work together in high-powered jobs - right-wing conservative Roy Cohn and his aide Joe Pitt. As Roy is diagnosed with AIDS, Joe begins to accept that he may well be gay. Meanwhile Joe's unfulfilled and lonely wife Harper takes valium and longs for escape. With God having abandoned heaven in favour of the interest of Earth, an angel comes to Prior to proclaim him a prophet and lead him to what he must do.
Hmm.
I have now been kicked out of a second datacenter. Woohoo!
56 Marietta didn't appreciate me kissing Mike in front of the camera, I guess. Beh. Datacenters with Christian morals. Who woulda thought?
CSS makes me want to stab things.
Check this. See if it looks 'off' in your browser. Looks fine in IE to me, but Safari has the right menu's as being too far to the right. I really hate how different browsers have different css implementations.
October in Illinois is my favorite month of the year. I can't really say that I miss Illinois that much - after all, the farm isn't the right place for my pointy toed Nine West's - but I do get pangs of homesickness, especially this time of the year. I remember October on the farm. The chill of the fall would start to set in, and I'd feel it in my bones when the wind somehow managed to penetrate my blue Adidas jacket. I used to sit on the tree swing dragging the toes of my sneakers through the dirt, watching the leaves fight with each other as they floated to the grass. Sometimes I'd drink hot cocoa - the kind that you get in the packet that comes with little marshmallows already included. I'd sit there until I fell asleep, full of ideas on how I was going to get out of there. It's not windy here, and it still stays fairly warm. You can't feel fall creeping up on you. It's just not the same at all. It's strange that I'd miss these things now. It was a lot more simple then. I hated life, but at least it was free of all those big decisions that we had to face once we grew up and left home.
<sektie> ls -dongs <sektie> is valid. <jkh> wow, so it does. <softweyr> sektie: does that list all the alberts on the system? <jkh> I must alias ls to ls -dongs now ? ket_ tries ls -dongs <ket_> ... i have TWO!? <softweyr> wes@zaphod$ ls -dongs <softweyr> 8 ./ <softweyr> hahahaha! <softweyr> it shows a wide-eyed dong! <reffje> pics pls
Oh, and they gave me 3 shots. I guess I forgot to mention that. 3 freaking shots. As a result, I can't seem to warm up, I'm dehydrated as hell, and I can barely lift my laptop. Those shots hurt like a motherfucker. The first and third ones seemed to take forever to finish, and it still stings. At the time, I nearly broke Mike's fingers I was squeezing so hard. The second shot was shorter, and it took a second for the sting to kick in. It had a lot more of a bite than the first/third ones. I forgot what they were. Mike is driving up here to bring me my meds. I'll update with what my fabulous medication is later. For now, I will sit back with an Adderall and a Percoset. It's interesting how Adderall seems to make my back stop hurting. Any ideas why?
I went to the hospital last night. Further back problems. I have no more sick days this year. I hate my spine. Hate and rage.
2.5 hours later, and I'm finally all caught up at work. Adderall is the shit. Go me.
So it's not really Monday yet. Close enough.
If pill popping was an Olympic Sport, I'd at least get the silver. I just took some Percoset/Flexeril/Tinzadine for my back. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good now. Wooh-wee.
Mike said he's going to get off IRC. Apparently he can't take the hate people dish out about me. Eh, well, I guess I could see how that could wear on a person. It's not my fault I'm not the typical simpering female. Heaven forbid I have an opinion. It's even worse that I'm so vocal about it, I suppose. I had hoped (and incorrectly judged) that he would be strong enough to be able to take it. This seems to be a reoccuring theme in my boyfriends. Hmm.
There was a lot of drama today, specifically about my website. There's this guy (who shall remain nameless, and I'll get to my reasons for that in a bit) that is a friend of a friend and runs a hosting company. September 11th, night of the party, we were talking and I asked him to set up a second server for me. The price wasn't too bad, and I decided I'd give him a chance, despite my absolute love of Layered Tech. So, lets see. in a little bit it will be October 18th, and I still have no server up. He doesn't answer his phone, he doesn't return my voicemails, he doesn't respond to my messages. This doesn't seem very professional to me. So I told this friend that if his friend didn't set up my server by tonight, I would publicly renounce his company on my website.
I rarely resort to threats, but I was very pissed. I've worked for every major webhosting company in Atlanta, and I am not one to piss off. Hell, most of HR from said webhosting companies still reads my blogs. Interland is still one of my top IP blocks hitting the site. A lot of local people read this site, as well as other sysadmins. In short, you never really want a company completely and utterly trashed by someone reasonably competent, especially if they have a good reason.
This led to a huge fight between myself and my friend. Apparently, although the purpose of this rant was to be completely business related, my friend accused me of making it personal. He then asked me not to do it, saying I was putting him in the middle, etc. Saying that it was going to ruin him as well. It seems to me that by asking me not to write about this as a personal favor to him was what made it personal.
As a result, I've compromised. Enough flames have been doused tonight, no need to start another. I'm still very pissed, and I'm not saying that I won't reveal the entire story plus names later, but for now I've left it anonymous.
YOU DO NOT FUCK OVER TEH FREEBSDGIRL PLZKTNXBYE!
On Fridays, we have "Caption This Picture" at work. Today's picture was so funny, I thought I'd put it up here.
I did a search for yakuza on teh google.
Check out the sponsored links.
In silver. It is the hotness.
Here's some pics! I took these a few weeks ago. I've moved most of my stuff in at this point, and we should have the last of it by this weekend. I'll be sure to take more pics then, because it looks a lot better. <3 my room.
He asked if I was happy.
I said yes.
What else did he expect me to say?
I wish he wouldn't smoke so much. He just doesn't care about himself. It hurts me to watch. He smoked half a pack of cigs and ate 5 pieces of fried chicken. He's going to fall over and die, and then what? He gets so angry when I say something.
"I used to smoke a lot more before, and you never said anything."
How can he expect me to want to think about something long term with someone that might not be alive to enjoy it? It's not just about the risk of death. He coughs a lot. We're both out of shape, but I know smoking makes it harder for him to do any kind of aerobic activity. I hate being around him and watching him do this to himself. He can't even really counter any of this. Sure, I smoke a cig sometimes, but usually only when I'm around him. I don't really like normal cigs anyways, I only like Djarum Blacks (cloves), and those are too expensive so I rarely purchase them. I think I'll totally stop smoking just to spite him, and I'll leave the room any time he lights up. There's not much I can do about it when I'm in the car with him, though.
Oh well, let him kill himself. I'll just start planning on him not being here later. I wonder what he would think of that?
Another fight. You just shouldn't take a girls cat5. It's not polite.
We've been fighting a lot lately. Most of it I've started, I'll admit, but I had my reasons each time. The exhaustion is wearing on me. I'm so irritated, and when my temper flares up, I explode. It goes away quick enough, but each fight gets me a little more worried. Not just about me, although that's a factor, but about us.
I love him. There's no question of that in my mind. When I wake up in the evening right when he gets home from work, as I rhe walks in the door, I watch him and feel...giddy, I guess. I don't know how to describe that feeling. Satisfied? Content? When he's holding me, it feels like all the problems in the world have gone away, and nothing can hurt me. Little things are starting to get to me, though. I don't know what to do. The spark isn't gone, not by a long shot, but sometimes I just wish...I don't know. I know that it would be better for me to be single. I know it would be better to disassociate myself from the whole relationship/dating/whatever scene entirely, and just stay at home and work. It would be easier for me. I really wish I had met him 6-12 months later than I did, but should I throw this away because the timing isn't right? Hardly.
With him deciding not to move in with me and then backing out of me going to see his relatives in Boston, I feel like the trust is gone. He knows this. He knows how much he hurt me, and he's sorry, but sorry doesn't get the trust back. I'm by nature a very untrusting person when it comes to people close to me. I used to trust every word he said, and he's the first person I've ever been like that with. Now that's all gone, and I feel like a big part of what made this relationship so great and different is gone. It's like a broken glass bauble. You can glue it up, but you'll always see the crack where the break was.
I'm starting to feel myself pull away from commitment entirely. I don't want to get married, ever. I used to think about it occassionally, but now I don't think I want it at all. Perhaps my heart has just been broken too many times. As far as I'm concerned, marriage just provides a piece of paper that provides a false sense of safety.
I finished reading Shopaholic Ties The Knot, just another silly chicknovel. I dream of having a big gorgeous wedding like the main character did, sure. But that doesn't mean I actually want to get married. Sign me up for lots of weddings, but don't expect me to sign any papers. I'm starting to think I'm just not that kind of girl. Toni Bentley is an inspiration to all females, I think. ''I once loved a man so much that I no longer existed -- all Him, no Me,'' she wrote. ''Now I love myself just enough that no man exists -- all Me, no Them. They all used to be God, and I used to be a figment of my own imagination; now men are figments of my imagination.'' Ok, so she's all kinds of psychotic, but she does pose some interesting points.
I started talking to Blaxthos tonight. At least some good came out of joining #nanog. He's a nice guy, although kind of strange. I think I scared him off. After I posted him a link to The Rude Pundit, he mysteriously went idle in messages. I'm going to post one of the questions he asked me to the ask a geekgirl section. You know, trashing me hasn't been this much in style since back in the #hackphreak days.
A question for you all. Taking commenting one step further, what about if I allowed users to post their answers to the questions I've got in ask a geekgirl? Just a thought.
??????---?--??-??????---?--??-?????????--- -- - | sektie (sektie@freebsdgirl.com) (Commercial) ? ircname : fap fap fap fap | channels : +#nanog #atlrave @#shit @#plan9 #freebsdhelp #bsdcode ? server : irc.nac.net (I have a poisonous friend) : idle : 0 hours 0 mins 6 secs (signon: Sun Oct 3 06:40:56 2004)
Shoot me now.
Old, but still worthy of mention.
His car smells like McDonalds. This is no huge stretch of the imagination, as his leftover fries from yesterdays lunch sit lonely in a crumpled up bag on the floor. I hate fast food, and the smell makes me nauseated. It's a welcome distraction.
I'm not the most reliable source of common sense, to put it lightly. I said something I shouldn't have at a pivotal moment. I meant it as a joke - I said it with a half smile, daring him to bite back, perhaps. It wasn't a nice thing to say, but i justified it to myself afterwards, saying this is how we play. It's hard deciding where the line is in the heat of the moment. I forget that guys can be just as sensitive as the stereotypical female when it comes to some things.
The look of confused hurt in his face was enough to banish all ideas of fun in my mind. I didn't mean to insult him. His expression twisted until he looked angry and cruel. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look, and I pulled the blankets around myself. I held my breath and counted the seconds, wishing he would leave, wishing I could curl up and die - anything to make him stop looking at me like that.
He hurt me. He didn't mean to, don't look at it like that. I've been so fragile lately. I bruise if someone barely touches me, and my pain tolerance seems to have dwindled down to nothing at all. It frustrates him so much, because it seems we can't go through a day without him hurting me. This time he leaned over me and had most of his weight on one hand on the blanket. He didn't know my arm was underneath, and he pinched it fairly hard. I yelped and pulled away. It hurt badly enough to make me start crying, serving to frustrate him even more. He got angry and left the room, leaving me curled up on the bed, alone with my tears.
A few minutes later, I climbed out of bed and started to leave. I tried to exit the room right as he entered. He didn't want to let me go, so I stared him down until he let me leave. My head down, I walked through the front door and out into the street, blinded by tears and not paying much attention to where I was going. When I looked up a few minutes later, I was at a park down the street. I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chest, quietly crying and letting the frustration out. It isn't just this fight. It's everything. I'm so tired. I can't seem to drudge up enough energy to even walk across the room lately, so coming up with the emotional energy needed to fight him is nearly impossible.
As I sat there with my head on my knees, contemplating my own self loathing, I felt something cold and wet on my hand. I picked up my head and blinked until I could see again - two puppies, both bouncing up and down, their owner about 200 yards away (thank god, I didn't want anyone to see my swollen eyes). I pet them, and they licked my hands. I couldn't help but laugh, even though it felt like I would never have the strength to stand up and walk home. I forgot about all my problems for a moment, and just delighted in playing with the puppies. Their owner started calling them, so one of them peed about three feet from me before they took off for home. I had the park to myself for a few minutes, but then it was invaded by a lot of noisy children, so I struggled to my feet and started slowly walking home.
When I got back, he wanted to talk. I rebuffed all efforts at a conversation, knowing that nothing constructive would be said, not now. He tried to pretend everything was OK, but I saw him sometimes out of the corner of my eye, looking at me, assessing my thoughts.
White flag.
I've been sick. Today has been a really bad day. Mike and I had a fight, and I just got back to my house. I thought maybe I could catch some more sleep before work. It seems like I can't get enough sleep lately.
I logged on to my laptop to find 14 people had IM'ed me over 24 hours. 8 people had messaged me. 3 people had emailed me. I got a lot of supportive comments on the blog that totally made me feel better about those jerks that messaged me earlier. A lot of people have been really concerned because I was sick and disappeared off the internet for a few days. It made me smile to think that so many people cared. Thank you. :)
Back to sleep for me.
Will someone please get Mike one of these?
I came to work today and checked my away messages - let's review this, shall we?
[The_X(chris@my.balls.your.chin)] you sure are one hell of a crackwhore [msg(the_x)] hm? [msg(the_x)] who are you? 04:48PM [The_X(chris@my.balls.your.chin)] one hell of a PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP
The first troll isn't even worth mentioning. He's a 'pimp' that calls me a 'crackwhore'. It's fairly well known that I have enough money (despite being broke all the time, but that's my own fault.) that I would never have to whore myself out. I've also never done crack, nor would I. Just not my scene, if you get my meaning. I've heard it smells pretty bad, too. I'll have to take their word on it, being as how I've never even seen it before. A drug like that wouldn't be very well accepted in the social circles I travel in.
04:49PM [poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] slut 05:01PM [poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] please refrain from spewing your 'please pay attention to me and how much of a slut I am' shit onto the net anymore than you already have, kthnx
As for poptix: *sigh*. Anyone that has ever heard of poptix knows that he's 100% troll. He lives to incite hate and rage in others. I shouldn't even have replied, but I did. Why not?
[msg(poptix)] why give me attention if you hate me so much? [msg(poptix)] and a slut would be a woman that is loose with her affection. i'm generally a one-man woman. sorry to disappoint. :) [msg(poptix)] now you take your hate back to #nanog, because you're a waste of time. ciao!
Why do boys on IRC call women sluts? I suppose it doesn't pertain exclusively to IRC, but even so. Maybe 10 years ago, it was a shocker. It's totally lost its meaning now. It's just a generic insult. It's like saying someone on IRC is fat and ugly. Hi, this is IRC. If you're going to attack me, at least attack me for being dumb, but don't attack me for the way I look or my sexual habits. Face it, if you're on IRC, you should be proud that you're getting laid in the first place.
*cough*
[poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] hoho [poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] one man because you got knocked up, or because you're too ugly to find another?
Maybe he deliberately misunderstood me. I meant one man at a time. Oh well, moving on...
[poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] you don't have to screw a guy to be a slut either
Apparently not. Expressing an opinion instead of being Yet Another Simpering Female (tm) is another way to be a slut.
[msg(poptix)] wouldn't I at least have to flirt with them to be a slut? [msg(poptix)] i think your meaning of the word is somewhat corrupt. [poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] would you want your mother/father reading the shit you post in your blog? [poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] (do you even know who they are?) [msg(poptix)] actually, my mom does read my blog. [msg(poptix)] she likes it. [msg(poptix)] my father is a baptist deacon, and he doesn't know how to work a computer. [msg(poptix)] being as how i put on my blog how i found his vibrating asstoy, yeah, that probably wouldn't be a good idea for him to read it :)
I don't think he realizes that jojobean - the infamous undernet jojobean - is my mom.
[poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] then I suppose you have an excuse, your upbringing
Everyone likes to blame everything on their upbringing. I like to blame IRC.
[poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] I think maybe you need to work on your self confidence issues, and stop relying on the airing of your personal life online for attention
Ouch, a zinger. Yeah, and? Doesn't he realize he's giving me the exact type of attention he thinks that I'm seeking?
[poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] and please, stop reproducing. [msg(poptix)] aw, that's no fun [msg(poptix)] i was planning on popping out at least 10 more kids. [msg(poptix)] so I could take full advantage of welfare. [poptix(poptix@momentum.poptix.net)] typical.
Well, Nathan is so cute. :)
I started reading blogs today. I've never really read anyones blog before, other than Sherrod (which was still only once in a blue moon). You'd think that I'd read someone elses blog other than my own. Although I'm an avid writer, I can't say that I've ever really been able to get into reading about someone else' life - until now.
I've started reading heroinegirl, Belle de Jour, and A New York Escorts Confessions, among others. You're probably noticing a theme by now.
We're all exhibitionists, even egotists when it comes down to it. They talk about their sexual forays while I talk about everything from meeting my boyfriend at a porn store to being homeless in NYC. Look at earlier entries compared to current entries.Noticing anything else yet?
The line between writing for the joy of creating words and writing for the joy of entertaining others begins to be blurred. It started out as an anonymous, guilt free way to destress - after all, doesn't everyone need to rant and let it all out? What do you do when you lose the anonymnity, though? Isn't that just selling out? When your parents, your lover, your ex-lovers, your friends, and your employers read your thoughts on a daily basis, you can't say that it doesn't affect what you write.
It's not so guiltless anymore, is it. You start to worry if you'll be hurting someone by what you say. You plan what you want to write before you even start because you want to make sure something doesn't get back to the wrong person.
The number of daily readers grows. You lose the bite you used to have, but they still keep coming back. Other blogs link to you. You're syndicated. Here's a T-shirt! Can I have your soul in exchange?
Blogs are evil, but I'll keep writing, and you'll keep reading. Think that's ego? No, that's just the reality of so many other blogs out there. What makes you think I'm any different?
Back when Arnie first ran for office in Cali, I made reference to one of the best movies evar, Demolition Man. People laughed and said it wouldn't happen.
When he won the election, once again I made reference to Demolition Man. I said that we should watch out, this shit really is happening. Just watch, they are going to try to ammend the constitution to allow him to be President. He's got the people's love, hell, even I'd vote for him at this point. Anyone is better than Bush. People laughed and said it wouldn't happen.
Guess what?
It is happening. It may not pass, but all I said was that they were going to try for it. People outside of cali didn't take him seriously. Now they are going to have to.
I got 11 hours of sleep, and I'm still exhausted - mentally and physically. I can barely drag up the energy to move. I'm glad I have a desk job.
My muscles are tired and aching, and my neck is really stiff. Are there any bugs going around right now? I really don't want to go to the doctor. :(
I am in love with this person.
And Kerry has a huge fucking head.
I'm looking at trying something new. Well, new for my site - not so new for other blogs. I've tried to stay away from the whole sidebar gimmicks. I tried technorati, but then kicked him to the curb. However, I do know that a lot of the regular readers of this site that I've talked to have blogs. As such, I'm going to add a link to a page where I will put up other geekish blogs and whatnot. If you want your blog up, Email me with "Add my blog" in the subject. I get a lot of mail, so this is the best way for me to ferret out your email. :)
Another idea I had is more of a show and tell. I've been working on my new room for a while, and it is terrifying. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it looks like extreme girlygirl combined with extreme geek. For example, my Robosapien is wearing a pink boa. I have candles and makeup on the same nighttable as 3 Richard Stevens' books. Words really can't begin to describe - in a week or two, I'll be putting up pictures. I want to see everyone else's pictures as well. Do you think you've got an interesting or unique setup? Do you just have a really cool case that you're proud of, or maybe it's a disaster area and you just want to show it off? Email pictures (or a direct link to pictures) with "Picture Contest" in the subject. I'll post the winners October 31st. I haven't decided what I'm going to give as a prize yet, so if you have suggestions for that, post those to the comments of this entry.
I picked up a poker set the other day. Chips, nice wooden thingie for them to sit in, cards, etc. I've started playing Texas Hold'em online, and I can see why Michelle plays it so much. It's fun, but not so much when the people I'm playing with are dumb.
Mike got me a new toy today.
Isn't it just too cute? It's a USB enclosure for an IDE drive. I've currently got one of my 250GB Maxtors in there, although I'm puzzling the logistics of what filesystem to use so I can go back and forth between Win2k, OSX, and FreeBSD. Apparently OSX is flakey with partitions any bigger than 32GB in FAT32, as is WinXP, although I don't see myself using WinXP much ever. OSX has support for UFS, but not with soft updates, so it's going to take like 8 years to fsck the thing if I ever forget to unmount it properly. Since my powerbook's battery doesn't like to retain charge, it's more likely than not that I'm going to shut it down uncleanly at some point. HFS+ it is; so much for other OS's supporting it.
Bastards. When is someone going to make a FS that doesn't suck that every OS supports? Probably at about the same time Bush realizes he's a retard and jumps off a bridge.
<Koston> windows is for gay people <Koston> who want to sniff each other's butts
... so that the crippled children can take my money.
According to The Political Compass, I'm a left wing libertarian. woowoo!
Your political compass
Economic Left/Right: -1.50
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.26
How did you rank?
