Dear idiots,
6.0 is not "release". 5.3 has not been "released". 6.0 is -CURRENT. 5.3 is beta. When 5.3 is "released", it will be -STABLE. You are all turdheads.
Love,
Randi
Dear idiots,
6.0 is not "release". 5.3 has not been "released". 6.0 is -CURRENT. 5.3 is beta. When 5.3 is "released", it will be -STABLE. You are all turdheads.
Love,
Randi
<chris_> gatech was like an open door at one time <chris_> you could just search through their ip's and find a dumbass <chris_> get on to his/her box <sektie> dude <sektie> welcome to the internet <sektie> "HERE'S NMAP, NOW GO FIND YOURSELF A DUMBASS"
I was listening to the radio this morning, and the AJC came on talking about this dude that has no job. He was playing an RPG and was like "I'd like to go after sand goblins, but sand goblins are vicious." and "I can turn invisible for almost 60 seconds". Then they said he should be spending his time working instead of playing a game (obviously). Instead of a job, this got me thinking "gee, I wish my char could turn invisible for almost 60 seconds. then I could get past those evil orc mesmerizers".
At this point, i realized i am a dork and I suck.
I'm tired, and I've only made a dent in moving stuff from my room (which has the appearance of a mall hit by a tornado, at the moment). I've managed to move my DVD's, a third of my clothes, most of my shoes, my wallscrolls, blankets, and random candles and shiny things. I still have to move the rest of my random candles and shiny things, the rest of my shoes and clothes, my TV, and my computers. I'll take some pictures of my room and the rest of the house later. I didn't know they had such nice neighborhoods in Marietta.
Does anyone in the Atlanta area know where I can get some 17"+ monitors for cheap? Preferably used. All I've got is a 15" monitor that does B&W. I'm renting a fairly nice funished room that comes with a desk, and I'd really like to be able to cram my desk full of 17"+ (preferably 19") monitors. I'm thinking of spending ~$100/each used? They don't have to be fabulous, just working. I also need to find some video cards. I'll probably just bite the bullet and buy a few $100 cards from Frys eventually. I hate that they opened a Frys in Atlanta. They have such fabulous deals if you go there at the right times, and the last thing I need to do is spend more money. I have to get a power supply, too though. I have all these nice computer parts at home and I can't do anything with them until I get these other computer parts. Bah. It's a vicious cycle.
Michelle is working her way towards the Texas Hold'em (or is it Holdum? I have no idea) World Championships. Apparently she has one more tournament to win, and she'll be in. Wish her luck! She's getting hella pregnant - 6 months now? I remember those days. You have my sympathy, sister. She should totally use this to her advantage in poker though. Most guys at the World Championships would probably lose their cool if they thought the pregnant woman next to them was going through contractions. "Just one more hand! Then I'll go to the hospital." Women are evil, and men are stupid enough to fall for it.
It's another week at work. Luckily, I managed to keep my sleeping schedule this weekend. It's nice feeling wide awake at work when it's approaching the second half of the night. Usually by 7 AM I'm fighting to keep my eyes open. It will doubtless help that I'm going to have my own place. Finally, some peace and quiet during the day. Mike's roommates are OK, but more often than not I just want to shoot them dead. Of course if I brought this up to Mike, he'd say "well, they have a right to be loud. They live there." That's like saying "I have a right to constantly fart in my cubicle even though I share it with 3 other people." Sure, you can, but it's really rude. I'm tired of him telling me I have no rights to anything because I don't live there. I know I don't, but that doesn't mean it's ok for everyone else to be inconsiderate assholes. He just doesn't get the idea behind common courtesy.
Since I'm on a bitch fest, how about a new target, the festering wound of EFNet - #nanog? Apparently Mike joined there the other day while they were in mid-bitch about me. Then he jokingly offered to sell them naked pictures of me. He doesn't actually have any, he just wanted to fuck with them. Guess how many messages he got asking him about them? Jesus, people. I'm not narcissistic enough to think you're obsessive about me. It's fun being a hater. But really, I'm getting tired of people telling me "#nanog is talking about you again". Either #nanog needs to shut up, or the people that think they are doing me favors need to shut up. I don't care, just stop telling me about it. IRC drama is so 2001.
People are dirty liars.
So this one time, when i was in private school, I was like 8 years old, right? And they had this missionary come to chapel one morning (we had church service every day before class) and ask for money for the indians. He said that they were all poor alcoholics, and it was so bad they were drinking hair spray to get drunk.
That's a fucked up thing to tell an 8 year old. For at least a week, I thought my mom was an alcoholic because she used so much hair spray it stunk up the bathroom. It was the 80's though, so I can hardly blame her.
My breasts are on fire.
NOTE TO SELF: Protect breasts when applying Icy Hot to ribs.
fuck.
ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
Putting water on it did NOT help.
On a happy note, I no longer notice the pain in my ribs. Icy Hot: Mission Accomplished!
I watched 50 First Dates at work tonight. It's not the first time I've seen it. I saw it in the theatres with Mike before.
I despise this movie. It made me cry, and movies never make me cry. Movies like this make me not want to be in a relationship, ever. Sigh.
So, what are the bets on Google producing a browser?
I worry.
I've moved in with Mike, for the most part. I've still got a lot of things back at my father's house, but none of them are really all that important. I'm sure when I pack them away, I'll have to supress the feelings of "but I need this". If I haven't required it thus far in my stay at Mike's, I doubt I'll need it anytime soon. None of my stuff is really feeling all of that important to me at the moment. It's a strange feeling.
I hate to admit it, but I'm fairly materialistic. I like to shop at expensive stores. I like to own lots of things. When a new tech toy comes out, I'm usually one of the first to have it. I own a lot of shoes, and at least 3 closets full of clothes. I'm sure there's some fucked up psychological reason behind all this, but that's neither here nor there.
The past two days, I haven't been myself. Or maybe I have been myself, and I just didn't realize it? I've been doing girlthings. You know, the things I usually avoid like the plague. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. Chris drove my TV and a few boxes of my things over to Mike's house on Sunday afternoon, and I've been...nesting. Or something. It's all very strange.
It started out with me cleaning off the top of Mike's dresser so we had somewhere to put my 36" TV. It's a fairly large TV, although not that deep. I wanted to have my PS2, because I just recently bought FFXI. I'm a huge fan of EverQuest as well as all games created by SquareSoft, the Final Fantasy series especially. Thus far, I have not been disappointed. That, however, is another post. I started with the dresser, and moved on to the closet, then started doing all of the laundry that was on the floor, then started folding the clothes in Mike's dresser. I started picking up all of the books scattered around and put them in the bookshelf, then I got my shoes and put them away. I cleaned up the living room, and did somewhere in the range of 6-10 loads of laundry. I'm not sure how many. I went shopping for candles because Mike's room smelled odd, and managed to find a scent that he didn't find all that noxious. It's not flowery, but just enough to make the room smell nice and welcoming. I washed the sheets on the floor (and soon the sheets on the bed), and picked up all of the spare change laying around and found a little bowl to put it in. I left little notes on the pillow wishing Mike good night, since I was going to be gone at work when he went to sleep. I went grocery shopping and bought a bunch of food, as well as laundry detergent because they didn't have the right type. I made everyone (4-5 people) dinner tonight, Manacotti shells stuffed with cheese and chicken, drowned in more cheese and pasta sauce and baked for an hour at 350 degrees. Everyone thought it was great.
The impossible has happened.
FreeBSDGirl has become domesticated, and she likes it.
I feel oddly content. I don't think I've ever felt content before. I'm happy. I like taking care of Mike. I'm not being overbearing, I'm making sure I ask him before I move anything of his. I don't want to take over his life. He did really need some help with that laundry situation though. His idea of getting dressed was picking up a shirt off the floor and sniffing it to see if it was clean. Girlfriend to the rescue.
I'm trying really hard to be sensitive to him right now. I don't want to take over his life. I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to. He jokes around sometimes and makes "argh" noises, and every time he does I wince inside because I don't know if he's serious or not. I sense there's at least a bit of seriousness beneath his joking remarks. I've tried to bring it up with him to make sure he's ok with all of it, but he just reassures me and tells me it's no big deal, his jokes are just his way of dealing with it.
If not for the worry of how much he might be freaking out about all this, it would feel perfect - or at least more perfect than things have ever been before. I don't really want to tell him all this. I don't want to make him think I'm trying to make it permanent. I'm not. He told me tonight, "I guess you're getting your trial period" in reference to a conversation we had weeks ago about having a trial period of moving in together. This isn't exactly the trial period I had in mind, but it will do. This isn't just a trial period to see if he wants to live with me. I want to know if this feeling of being content is going to last. I want to know if I finally do have a home with someone, where I feel like I can belong. I don't really have my space, and I hate infringing on his space, but maybe some things are worth giving up, temporarily.
Wait and see, I suppose. Should I be hurrying to find a roommate? I'd rather be in idle mode right now, just catching my breath from all the recent changes before jumping into a new adventure. I'd also like to see where this goes. Is this fair to him, though? This situation has two possible outcomes, if I just idle for a bit. Either he'll decide living with me might not be so bad, or he'll get sick of it and we'll have problems caused by the tension of him leaning on me to move out. If it becomes an issue, I'll definitely up the search to find a roommate. I'm still calling people now, but I'm not as active as I could be. Wait and see.
<sektie> just lazy <sektie> can't blame him. i'm lazy too. <sektie> it costs money. <sektie> i need to start a paypal fund. <Wolfey-Wr> 50 buxs and ill kill him <sektie> "donate to Randi's divorce so she can make calibabies with Mike" <sektie> i don't want him to die <Wolfey-Wr> haha <Wolfey-Wr> have u discussed ur plan to make babies with mike? <sektie> well <Wolfey-Wr> ;) <sektie> i was playing "Sims: Bustin' Out" on my ps2 yesterday <sektie> and i made a "Randi" sim, and a "Mike" sim <sektie> and we started making out in front of the neighboors <sektie> and then the "Mike" sim was like "Would you like to make a baby?" <sektie> so i'm pretty sure he's cool with it.
New messages: 43
Messages not caught by spamasassin that are definitely spam: 34
Mail I actually wanted to read: 1
Comments on FreeBSDGirl: 1
Money spent: $24
Times the bed (not my bed) collapsed): 5
Times I said "fuck you": 6
Times I got laid: 1 (arguably 0, depending on how you look at it)
Loads of laundry I completed: 4
Hours I spent cleaning MIke's room: 6.5
Ants that bit my foot: 5
Hours spent on the Internet: 0
Hours to install FFXI: 4
New vistors to the site: 150
Alcoholic beverages consumed: 0
Muscles pulled: 1
Creepy guys that hit on me: 2
Strange sites that linked to me: 6
Yay me.
If there was a god. But there's not.
So hah.
Anyways, I've been feeling pretty bad lately. I feel ugly and unappreciated. Etc. Typical girl BS. The plan was to go to Duluth today to get my hair cut and dyed at Evolutions, as well as getting my eyebrows waxed, nails done, etc. Then my boyfriend would be like "hot damn" and crap. Well, it didn't work out that way.
Instead I bought computer parts.
Fuck. I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
I feel partialy vindicated, however. The creepy salesguy at Frys gave me his number as I was walking out. Er, okay. Even though I told him I have a boyfriend. He was a nice enough guy until he tried to hook up with me. Now I never want to talk to him ever again.
I hate guys.
So I've been using my server to torrent stuff occasionally. Not all that often, just when i'm looking for something in particular when I'm not at home. Lo and behold, my provider sent me an email that had been sent to them by Universal. Go figure that if I'm torrenting Hero and Death Becomes Her, of course they are going to pick the movie they no longer make any money off of to gripe about. Hello?
-------- Original Message -------- Subject: [ABUSE] DMCA Notification [Notice ID: 1602464] Date: Thu, 9 Sep 2004 17:17:19 -0700 From: antipiracy@nbcuni.com Reply-To: antipiracy@nbcuni.com To: abuse@theplanet.com-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1Re: Unauthorized Use of Universal Motion Pictures
Notice ID: 1602464
9 Sep 2004 19:08:51 GMTDear Sir or Madam:
Universal City Studios Productions LLLP and its affiliated companies (collectively, "Universal") are the exclusive owners of copyrights in many motion pictures, including the motion pictures listed below. It has come to our attention that ThePlanet.com Internet Services, Inc. is the service provider for the IP address listed below, from which unauthorized copying and distribution (downloading, uploading, file serving, file "swapping" or other similar activities) of Universal's motion picture(s) listed below is taking place. We believe that the Internet access of the user engaging in this infringement is provided by ThePlanet.com Internet Services, Inc. or a downstream service provider who purchases this connectivity from ThePlanet.com Internet Services, Inc..
This unauthorized copying and distribution constitutes copyright infringement under Section 106 of the U.S. Copyright Act . Depending upon the type of service ThePlanet.com Internet Services, Inc. is providing to this IP address, it may have legal and/or equitable liability if it does not expeditiously remove or disable access to the motion picture(s) listed below, or if it fails to implement a policy that provides for termination of subscribers who are repeat infringers (see, 17 U.S.C. 512).
Despite the above, Universal believes that the entire Internet community benefits when these matters are resolved cooperatively. We urge you to take immediate action to stop this infringing activity and inform us of the results of your actions. We appreciate your efforts toward this common goal.
The undersigned has a good faith belief that use of the motion pictures in the manner described herein is not authorized by Universal, its agent or the law. The information contained in this notification is accurate. Under penalty of perjury, the undersigned is authorized to act on behalf of Universal with respect to this matter.
Please be advised that this letter is not and is not intended to be a complete statement of the facts or law as they may pertain to this matter or of Universal's positions, rights or remedies, legal or equitable, all of which are specifically reserved.
Very truly yours,
Aaron Markham
Manager of Internet Anti-Piracy,
Worldwide Anti-Piracy Operations
VIVENDI UNIVERSAL ENTERTAINMENT
100 Universal City Plaza
Universal City, CA 91608
tel. (818) 777-3111
fax (818) 866-6339
antipiracy@unistudios.com*pgp public key is available on the key server at ldap://keyserver.pgp.com
** For any correspondence regarding this case, please send your emails to antipiracy@unistudios.com and refer to Notice ID: 1602464. If you need immediate assistance or if you have general questions please call the number listed above.
Title: Death Becomes Her
Infringement Source: BitTorrent
Initial Infringement Timestamp: 8 Sep 2004 21:41:40 GMT
Recent Infringment Timestamp: 9 Sep 2004 04:57:34 GMT
Infringer Username:
Infringing Filename: Death.Becomes.Her.(1992).DVDRip.DivX.avi
Infringing Filesize: 732995584
Infringers IP Address: 69.56.159.109
Infringers DNS Name: smut.codersluts.net
Infringing URL: 69.56.159.109:2705/Death.Becomes.Her.(1992).DVDRip.DivX.avi <?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?>
<Infringement xmlns:xsi="http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema-instance" xsi:noNamespaceSchemaLocation="http://mpto.unistudios.com/xml/Infringement_schema.xsd">
<Case>
<ID>7752123</ID>
<Status>New>/Status>
</Case>
<Complainant>
<Entity>Universal Studios</Entity>
<Contact>Aaron Markham</Contact>
<Address>100 Universal City Plaza (1280/6)</Address>
<Phone>818-777-3111</Phone>
<Email>antipiracy1@unistudios.com</Email>
</Complainant>
<Service_Provider>
<Entity>ThePlanet.com Internet Services, Inc.</Entity>
<Contact></Contact>
<Address>1333 Stemmons Frwy - Suite 110</Address>
<Email>abuse@theplanet.com</Email>
</Service_Provider>
<Source>
<TimeStamp>2004-08-09T21:41:40Z</TimeStamp>>
<IP_Address>69.56.159.109</IP_Address>
<DNS_Name>smut.codersluts.net</DNS_Name>
<Type>BitTorrent</Type>
<UserName></UserName>
<Number_Files>1</Number_Files>
<Deja_Vu>No</Deja_Vu>
</Source>
<Content>
<Item>
<Title>Death Becomes Her</Title>
<FileName>Death.Becomes.Her.(1992).DVDRip.DivX.avi</FileName>
<FileSize>732995584</FileSize>
<URL>69.56.159.109:2705/Death.Becomes.Her.(1992).DVDRip.DivX.avi</URL>
<Type>Video</Type>
</Item>
</Content>
</Infringement>-----BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE-----
Version: 8.0
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Date: Wed, 15 Sep 2004 05:33:39 -0500 From: Randi Harper <sektie@freebsdgirl.com> To: raylene.miller@vcf.com Cc: [edit], rharper@iss.net, [edit], [edit] Subject: [edit] - past Bugle Boy model User-Agent: Mutt/1.4.2.1i X-Operating-System: FreeBSD 5.1-RELEASE-p17 X-Shameless-Selflove: http://freebsdgirl.com X-Boyfriend: Linux User :(To whom it may concern:
This is going to sound like a fairly odd request. This is the email address that+is listed as the contact for the owner of bugleboy.com, and I've been unable to find any contact information for Bugle Boy other than this address. Hopefully you can help me out, or at least point me in the direction of someone that might have the time to help amuse an office full of tired IT workers.
My boss, [edit], used to be a model for Bugle Boy. I'm not certain when, and I only know this because two employees that have been here a very long time said that in his new hire orientation years ago, his "interesting fact about himself" was that he used to model for Bugle Boy jeans.
We are all dying to see this. We can't find a picture of this anywhere, and I know this might be an impossible request to fulfill. If you could help us find a picture of him, it would cheer up all of us working night shift here. [edit] is now a manager at Internet Security Systems (http://iss.net). Please, please, please. Help us find these pictures. Our sanity is depending on it.
If you could at least reply to this email or call me to let me know if you could help or not, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for your time,
Randi Harper
email: sektie@freebsdgirl.com ; rharper@iss.net
url: http://freebsdgirl.com ; http://iss.net
phone: 404.917.4471
Or how about naked cars and fast girls? Whatever.
I got Mike and his friends tickets to Nopi this weekend. Mmm. I am the best girlfriend ever.
Even though he's a fucktard that fucked up my day, I can still manage to rock the house. I love you. :D
I am fucking furious. Enraged. Livid. Infuriated. Violent.
I had a lot planned for today. I had to get down to Fayetteville by 3 so I could pick up my paycheck and stop by the bank to cash it. Then I had to make a car payment today, because they told me if I could make it today it wouldn't be late. I had to drop some money by Chad's because he needed it very badly, and I had to drop RJ by the vet. After that, I was supposed to go to Therasport to get my back checked out again, as I've been in quite a bit of pain lately and Mike has been bugging me about it. Then, I was scheduled to meet up with a few people in the Decatur area about a roommate situation. Just interviewing people, seeing how it goes. After that, I was going to go up to Duluth to destress and get my hair cut and buy a computer.
I told Mike almost all of this when I came over this morning. I told him this 3 bloody times. I even told him while he was walking out of the fucking door so I'd know for certain he was awake and he heard it. He asked if he could use my truck because it had tags and his car doesn't. I said sure, as long as he puts a few $ gas in it and brings it back during lunch. I also asked him to bring back eyecandy during lunch. He said fine. And like a fucking idiot, I believed him.
Guess what? It's 2:03 PM EST. My truck isn't here. My paycheck isn't cashed. My dog isn't at the vet. Chad has no money. My truck payment isn't made. I don't have a roommate. My back fucking hurts.
Thank you, asshole, for ruining my fucking day.
I'm so fucking furious I'm shaking. I've been like this for half an hour now. I can't believe I was stupid enough to actually believe he would do as he said. And then he tried to blame his hangups on me. Yes. It's my fucking fault he's as ineffective and has as fucked up priorities, and so he doesn't have tags on his car. It's my fault he can't wake up when his fucking alarm goes off. It's my goddamn fault he's a lazy slacker. I'm not saying I'm not a lazy slacker, but at least I don't try to pawn off my problems by saying they are everyone elses fault. Fuckhead. Grow the fuck up.
It wasn't long enough.
The first half of it was great. I did not leave Mike's couch. I coded, I downloaded movies, and I ate skittles. It was best ever. I needed the destressing so bad, I didn't even realize how bad I had gotten. I was happy.
Wednesday was my actual birthday (Sept 8th), and Mike and I went out to The Derby, where we met up with Thomas and his girlfriend. This is where the story got kind of hazy. Private version of the story: Mike went out and got me a g of blow to play with on my birthday, and I went in the bathroom to do a line. Two girls walked in and were talking about the bar scene and how slow it is, so I spoke up over the stall door talking about other local bars. I walked out and started talking to one of the girls, Jessica. Her friend left and Jessica and I continued talking and I offered her a line. She did it, then we went out to the bar and started discussing becoming roommates. Note to self: never make any life changing decisions on blow. After about half an hour, we wandered back into the bathroom and walked into the stall together to do another line. Some more girls came in and they were like "We need to pee!" There were two stalls, and we were almost done, so I yelled "We're almost done!" - during which time, one of the girls was looking through the gap between the door and the stall wall, and she was like "I know you doing some illegal shit in there" and then two of her friends stood on top of the toilet on the other stall to watch and they were like "hey hey, give us some! you a bad girl!" - at which point I had to tell them I didn't have much left, and it was my birthday so please don't tell. ;) They were cool with it, and Jessica and I walked out and started talking to one of the girls. I noticed she had a nice rack and I said so, at which point she took off her shirt. Wow. Okay, so then her friends took off their shirts. And then some other girls walked in and they were like "wtf?" and then they took off their shirts. Seriously. I am not making this shit up. There was much breast comparison going on. Stuff like "Hey, feel this, these babies are real!" and "Can I see your peircing?" - crazy shit, straight up.
Friday I went down to Fayetteville with Mike to drop off Lucy. Mike paid $400 for Lucy to get fixed for my Dad. I had expected dad to kick some money back our way for that because he said he was going to, but he didn't offer. He also didn't tell Mike thank you. This pissed both Mike and me off, because even if he hadn't had the money, he could have had the common courtesy to say thank you. wtf? He also didn't tell me happy birthday. Even my mom managed to call from Seattle to sing me happy birthday. I guess it shouldn't be such a big deal. I don't really care about getting things for my birthday. I just thought it would be nice to hear it from my dad. I didn't mention anything on Friday, but I went back to Mike's more than a little upset.
Saturday there was some confusion with a check my mom sent, and I had to drive back down to Fayetteville. When I got there, I mentioned to dad about how disappointed Mike and I were because of the whole Lucy/birthday thing because it showed a complete lack of respect for Mike and I. Dad, psycho person that he is, threw me out. Uh, okay.
So I'm homeless.
Well, not technically. I'm living with Mike for now, but this is an extremely temporary situation. I'm hoping to find a roommate by October 1st. Looks like I'm going to have to get a whole lot less picky.
The birthday party happened as planned on Saturday. Something like 100 people showed up, and it was a hit. I think we went through almost 2 kegs. James brought me scotch - what a good ex-boyfriend! Not cheap scotch, either. I shared it with the people I liked the most. I drank quite a bit of it and got violently ill. I'd never had scotch before. After that, I stayed away from the alcohol for the evening. The party lasted until about 9 AM, at which point I passed out. I woke up a few times here and there, but I was hella sick. Not even hung over, just sick. My muscles felt like noodles. I remember calling my boss on Sunday night and mumbling something about sick into the phone when his voicemail came on, and then I passed out again until 1 PM on Monday. I slept something like 48 hours? Not sure. Regardless, it was impressive. I'm still feeling pretty weak, but much better than I was.
I went back to my dad's on Monday to see if my paycheck was there yet, and it wasn't. I did however find my dog, RJ45. She'd been attacked, and no one had told me. She doesn't appear to be in any pain, but it doesn't look pretty. I'm taking her to the vet when I get off work this morning. I'm worried about her, but most of all I'm pissed that no one had the sense of mind to tell me this happened. She's at Mike's right now, so she's safe. I love her to death. I'm upset at myself for letting this happen to her. I'll post updates once the vet gets back to me.
In short, first half of vacation rocked. Second half of vacation sucked. But it was vacation, so it still sucked less than normal.
You all should be aware of hurricane preparations, but in case you need a refresher course: We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any minute now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and making two basic meteorological points.
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our insurance industry experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.
Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:
HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Wisconsin
Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.
SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:
Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap.
Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.
Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.
Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.
Hurricane-Proofing your property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc... you should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.
EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of cat food. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:
23 flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)
A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.
Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television if you have a generator that's working to keep the TV going and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.
Good luck and remember: It's great living in Paradise.
"The New York Times is God's way of apologizing for Fox News."
I love that quote.
Mike got me roses.
Happy Birthday to me!
I wish it would stop raining out. I would like some string cheese.
In the words of The Chad,
shennanigans and thievery!
Two small bags of clothes.
They looked fairly inconsequential, lying there haphazardly on the floor, at least to me. He didn't think so.
He thought it was something big. He blew them all out of proportion.
"Shouldn't you have asked me first?", he said.
Why should I have asked him? He cleared out a drawer for me months ago. Is it really that big of a deal? Why am I not allowed to bring things over to use it without asking him first?
I thought since I'd spent nearly a week over there without going home it wasn't unreasonable. I didn't even think twice about it.
I only wanted some clean clothes, a couple of towels, and some DVD's. It's not like it's everything I own.
It fit into a Banana Republic and New York & Co bag.
As I lay there on the floor of his bedroom with my two bags, cowering under my blanket as he yelled at me, I had to wonder if a clean pair of jeans was worth it.
I had to wonder if the drawer was worth it at all.
Take it back. i don't want it if this is what it turns us into.
Someone posed an interesting question to me tonight, and I was unable to answer it. If you know you love someone and you want to be with only that person for the rest of your life, is it normal to feel like you want to have meaningless sex with someone - not anyone in particular - just once to "get it out of your system"?
It's really hard to say, I guess. It depends on the person and the situation. My opinion, at least in the scenario in which it was presented in this case, is that it's indicating a fear of commitment. Maybe it is normal, though. I'm not good at judging such things. It's not like any of my relationships have ever been normal in the traditional sense of the word.
I don't think it's bad to think about having sex with someone other than your sigificant other. It's normal to imagine yourself with someone else every once in a while. I think it only becomes a problem if you're thinking about it constantly, because then it's a good indication something is wrong. Thinking about it and acting on it are also two totally different things.
So what do you think? Is it an indication of something being wrong? Is it normal in a long term relationship to have thoughts like that? What's your experience with this?
And the roommate situation continues.
I've been emailing a few people off craigslist, but I'm exceptionally picky. I keep reading these ads and thinking "Jesus, you sound dumb. You'll probably break my computers."
I don't want to live with someone that is going to break my computers.
Bastards.
Dear Roommate Fairy,
Please Find me a roommate. A roommate that isn't smelly, creepy, stupid, desperate for female attention, pro-life, Theo, stalkerish, or a pedophile. If they must be Republican, at least let them be quiet about it. A BSD user would be nice, although at this point even Linux would do. Egotistical is OK. I've been on IRC for years - I can deal with egotistical. I'd prefer that if they have ego, they have a good reason for it. A coder would be especially nice! Oh, and someone that won't eat my cheese and ice cream. Since all I eat is cheese and ice cream, this is important. I want a roommate that isn't going to wear my underwear, leave hairballs in the shower drain, or forget to flush the toilet. If they have pets, at least let them be pets that aren't going to eat my leather pants or shed all over my clothes. Someone that doesn't call everyone "G" or "Homie" and doesn't yell "WASSAP" every time they walk into a room would be ideal. I'm not asking for my roommate to lose his heritage, as it were. I'm asking for a display of understanding of the English language. Please. It would be really cool if I could find someone that liked anime, too! Yes. I want someone that would love to discuss the underlying theme behind Serial Experiments: Lain. Someone into motorcycles and fast cars!
Wait, this isn't a dating ad. I'm just looking for a roommate.
Although all of this would be very nice, I suppose I'll settle for whoever can meet my budget and location desires. Sigh.
Thank you, Roommate Fairy; I'll be waiting for your reply.
Love,
FreeBSDGirl